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Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously? 6wyl
Globalization, a breakthrough in immigrant system, has shattered the all boundaries around the world as well as creates a global village. In the contemporary world, in many countries, population with different culture values around the world residing in international cities. It is therefore, becoming the concerning issue for the government to set a system, where people can live together peacefully. This essay is an attempt to highlight the couple of suggestions such as rights, laws, and social ceremonies regarding this concern in the following paragraphs. To begin with the paramount right of respect for living peacefully in differentiate cultural country. Government might announce the national holiday on their special culture days, in order to create the feeling of be part of the country among the people. In addition, the high authority would provide the equal opportunities in all aspects, whether to get a job, voting right, to get an education and so forth. To cite an example of multicultural country Canada, which is known for equal distribution of income, wealth, education, and jobs opportunities for all people. Furthermore, stringent laws have an imperative impact on society. Hence, government should implement these laws in regard to eradicate the biases from all the different sections of the continent. A country with the more than one culture gets more chances of unfair due to difference in religion, thoughts, and beliefs. Therefore, it is necessary to have a strict law system in the society. Apart from this, to enhance the brotherhood in cosmopolitan cities, government can organise some events related to the different traditions. For instant, India is only the one country which celebrates the variety of festivals to promote the feeling of honor. To conclude, a big thanks to internationalism, which allows the people to commute around the world and settle down in the other countries. However, it might create some mild problems in live together harmoniously, but some collaborate actions can eliminate these issue from the society.
Globalization, a breakthrough in immigrant system, has shattered the all boundaries around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
as well
as creates a global village. In the contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, population with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture values around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
residing in international cities. It is
therefore
, becoming the concerning issue for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to set a system, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together
peacefully
. This essay is an attempt to highlight the couple of suggestions such as rights,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
, and social ceremonies regarding this concern in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the paramount right of respect for living
peacefully
in differentiate cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
might announce the national holiday on their special culture days, in order to create the feeling of be part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In addition
, the high authority would provide the equal opportunities in all aspects, whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job, voting right, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an education and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth. To cite an example of multicultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Canada, which
is known
for equal distribution of income, wealth, education, and jobs opportunities for all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Furthermore
, stringent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
have an imperative impact on society.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should implement these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
in regard to eradicate the biases from all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sections of the continent. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with the more than one culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
more chances of unfair due to difference in religion, thoughts, and beliefs.
Therefore
, it is necessary to have a strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
system in the society. Apart from this, to enhance the brotherhood in cosmopolitan cities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
related to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
traditions. For instant, India is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which celebrates the variety of festivals to promote the feeling of honor.

To conclude
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
thanks to internationalism, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to commute around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and settle down in the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, it might create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mild problems in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together
harmoniously
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
collaborate actions can eliminate these issue from the society.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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