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Nowadays many children are playing computer games than sports why this happened and it is a positive or negative impact?

Nowadays many children are playing computer games than sports why this happened and it is a positive or negative impact? alP3o
It is an undeniable fact that computer games plays an important role in this cutting edge era. Today, plethora of wards are playing games on electronic gadgets such as computer. This essay would shed light on the various aspects of the given topic on the impending paragraphs. There are numerous reasons behind this first and foremost is that they reckon that they create more fun while playing on computer as compare to outdoor activities. Nowadays, both the parents are working so that is why they do not must time to tell their children about the disadvantage of playing games on electronic devices. For example, a survey was held in 2010 by standfords University and experts noticed that 59 percent of the pupils spend their time while playing games on electronic things just because of this only. According to me, it's is a negative trend because they become introvert as well as children cannot perform well in their exam. Moreover, it putt negetive impect on one's eyesight as computer the reduction which come out computer its is good for eyes. Apart from it, they donot take proper sleep at night just because of this. According to standford University about 60 percent of ward have same problem because of this. To core out, it is sensible that it is a negative trend as children cannot perform well in their exam as well as they donot take proper sleep.
It is an undeniable fact that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in this cutting edge era.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, plethora of wards are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on electronic gadgets such as computer. This essay would shed light on the various aspects of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic on the impending paragraphs. There are numerous reasons behind this
first
and foremost is that they reckon that they create more fun while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
on computer as compare to outdoor activities. Nowadays, both the parents are working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
why they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
their children about the disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on electronic devices.
For example
, a survey
was held
in 2010 by
Possible spelling mistake found.
standfords
University and experts noticed that 59 percent of the pupils spend their time while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on electronic things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
because of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
,
Did you mean "it is"?
it's is
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they become introvert as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as children cannot perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
in their exam.
Moreover
, it
Did you mean "putts"?
putt
Possible spelling mistake found.
negetive
Possible spelling mistake found.
impect
on one's eyesight as computer the reduction which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out computer its is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for eyes. Apart from it, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
take proper sleep at night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
because of this
. According to
Possible spelling mistake found.
standford
University about 60 percent of ward have same problem
because of this
. To core out, it is sensible that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend as children cannot perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
in their exam as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as they
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
take proper sleep.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many children are playing computer games than sports why this happened and it is a positive or negative impact?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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