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Nowadays, many children are becoming overweight. Some people think that the government should be responsible for this. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many children are becoming overweight. Some people think that the government should be responsible for this. mLyoL
In this day and age, the phenomenon of obesity is ubiquitous among the children in the world. Many people suppose it is the government that is in charge of this trend. Nonetheless, I believe the responsibility does not belong to the powers that be. For once, parents have more influence over children’s eating habits. In effect, many parents are inclined to provide numerous high-fat foods such as: fried chicken, crisp, hamburger, ect. . . for their children in order to accelerate their development. As a result, children tend to be familiar with this fat diet. My nephew is a salient example. Despite being a six-year-old child, he reaches 37 kilos since he usually consumes high-calorie foods and predominantly does hardly any exercise on a daily basis. There is no doubt that it is the parents who take more responsibility for the children’s overweightness. Besides, weight is sometimes determined by genetics. The study signifies that genetics play an integral role in obesity, which means people who belong to Bardet-Biedl syndrome and Prader-Willi syndrome by inherited genetics have the inclination of easier gaining weight than normal people. For instance, my closest friend, Vy, barely consumes any foods which are rich in fat and strives to hit the gym at least 2 hours per day to stay lean. Despite her excellent balanced diets, she still puts on weight regularly. It stands to reason that inherited genetics does have a certain influence on our weight. From these two aforementioned points, I assume that the government should not be responsible for the current overweight in children.
In this day and age, the phenomenon of obesity is ubiquitous among the
children
in the world.
Many
people
suppose it is the
government
that is
in charge of this trend. Nonetheless, I believe the responsibility does not belong to the powers that be.

For once, parents have more influence over
children’s
eating habits. In effect,
many
parents
are inclined
to provide numerous high-
fat
foods such as: fried chicken, crisp, hamburger,
ect
.
.
.
for
their
children
in order to accelerate their development.
As a result
,
children
tend to be familiar with this
fat
diet. My nephew is a salient example. Despite being a six-year-
old
child, he reaches 37 kilos since he
usually
consumes high-calorie foods and
predominantly
does hardly any exercise on a daily basis. There is no doubt that it is the parents who take more responsibility for the
children’s
overweightness
.

Besides
, weight is
sometimes
determined by genetics. The study signifies that genetics play an integral role in obesity, which means
people
who belong to
Bardet-Biedl
syndrome and
Prader-Willi
syndrome by inherited genetics have the inclination of easier gaining weight than normal
people
.
For instance
, my closest friend,
Vy
,
barely
consumes any foods which are rich in
fat
and strives to hit the gym at least 2 hours per day to stay lean. Despite her excellent balanced diets, she
still
puts on weight
regularly
. It stands to reason that inherited genetics does have a certain influence on our weight.

From these two aforementioned points, I assume that the
government
should not be responsible for the
current
overweight in
children
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, many children are becoming overweight. Some people think that the government should be responsible for this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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