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Nowadays, majority people believe that art courses like painting or drawing should not be made mandatory for high school students, while other people think that art courses must be compulsory for all high schoolers.

Nowadays, majority people believe that art courses like painting or drawing should not be made mandatory for high school students, while other people think that art courses must be compulsory for all high schoolers. 7pkG6
I am in favor of the idea that art classes should be voluntary for students, who want to promote own artistic knowledge such as creativity and imagination and progress further in these fields. A lot of individuals think that many successful and famous people from sports, business and teaching, use creativity to be different from others and get promoted. Almost all famous people have studied art in the school and utilize it in their specialty. Because art has many benefits for students. For instance, it is useful to improve students' concentration, by relating on a creative idea for an extended term. With this way students' minds is able to grow, which benefits other subjects. In addition, with this way their mind can take a break, because many researches show that pupils feel overworked in high school, and for this reason, they want a break from studying. However, in my opinion until today, most humans have already studied art courses, and they know if they enjoy them or not. Art classes should only be presented as a choice for those who want to learn it. It has two reasons. Firstly, most students are too busy preparing for university entrance exam, because they are studying many subjects in the school that is not essential, and interesting for them. In my view they should study subjects which they like and important for them. It is productive way for entering university or studying well. Secondly, if art classes have some pupils who want to study it and others who are disliked, then the class atmosphere will be less enjoyable. Because of disruptive students, the lessons will be less productive and unpleasant for all.
I am in favor of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
should be voluntary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to promote
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
artistic knowledge such as creativity and imagination and progress
further
in these fields.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
successful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from sports, business and teaching,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
creativity to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from others and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promoted. Almost all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have studied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in the school and utilize it in their specialty.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For instance
, it is useful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
students' concentration, by relating on a creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for an extended term. With this way students' minds is able to grow, which benefits other subjects.
In addition
, with this way their mind can take a break,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that pupils feel overworked in high school, and
for this reason
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
a break from studying.

However
, in my opinion until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, most humans have already studied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
courses, and they know if they enjoy them or not.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be presented
as a choice for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to learn it. It has two reasons.
Firstly
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are too busy preparing for university entrance exam,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
subjects in the school
that is
not essential, and interesting for them. In my view they should study subjects which they like and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them. It is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a productive".
productive
way for entering university or studying well.
Secondly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to study it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are disliked
, then the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
atmosphere will be less enjoyable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of disruptive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, the lessons will be less productive and unpleasant for all.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, majority people believe that art courses like painting or drawing should not be made mandatory for high school students, while other people think that art courses must be compulsory for all high schoolers.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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