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Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks? 3qKl
A healthy family is always backed up by the strong relationships. These days, more people in the society don not give any value for the family relations and they have adapted to this new shift. This essay will discuss the reasons for the insufficiency of bonding between the members of the family, along with the positive and negative effect of this upon the family. The way society value the relationships in the recent times have changed a lot since the past few decades. There are many causes for the downfall of healthy relations in the family worldwide. One of the major reason could be the easy access to the internet for online communication. This is because, people spend most of their time on screen for all kinds of interactions. As a result of this, there will be lack of time to spend with their kith and kin. For example, if a person interacts through the social platforms to interact with his business partners, this will lessen time to spend with his dependents. People being more confined to themselves have created a lot of positivity in the society. The individual will feel more confident in his work and life. This is due to the fact that, when nobody is there to care someone he can be by himself. Which gives him a kind of freedom from the social bonds and problems. For instance, a single mother can work hard and lead a successful life, because of the lack of restrictions in the family about the mindset of the community. However, there are some negative sides for giving less priority for the relationships. The people will feel more isolated from the society. When they are restricting the healthy bonding, this will create a negative impact on the mental health of an individual. Consequently, this can lead to some psychological conditions. When the a kid living in the apartments are restricted in meeting friends outside the house, this will affect her mental stability. In conclusion, there are both merits and demerits for the lack of bonding between the families. But the positive impacts over shadow the negativity to some extent.
A healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is always backed up by the strong relationships. These days, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
Did you mean "do not"?
don not
give any value for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
relations and
they have adapted to this new shift. This essay will discuss the reasons for the insufficiency of bonding between the members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, along with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of this upon the family.

The way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
value the relationships in the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot since the past few decades. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes for the downfall of healthy relations in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
worldwide. One of the major reason could be the easy access to the internet for online communication. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on screen for all kinds of interactions.
As a result
of this, there will be lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their kith and kin.
For example
, if a person interacts through the social platforms to interact with his business partners, this will lessen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with his dependents.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
being more confined to themselves have created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
positivity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The individual will feel more confident in his work and life.
This is due to the fact that
, when nobody is there to care someone he can be by himself. Which gives him a kind of freedom from the social bonds and problems.
For instance
, a single mother can work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and lead a successful life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of restrictions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
about the mindset of the community.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides for giving less priority for the relationships. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will feel more isolated from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. When they are restricting the healthy bonding, this will create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the mental health of an individual.
Consequently
, this can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
psychological conditions. When
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "a" is left.
the a
kid living in the apartments
are restricted
in meeting friends outside the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, this will affect her mental stability.

In conclusion
, there are both merits and demerits for the lack of bonding between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts over shadow the negativity to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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