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nowadays experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries essays

nowadays experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries essays GMVOo
In this fast developing era, there are more competitions taking place everywhere to get a job. And most of the companies are giving a favor to those who are more experienced than those who are more knowledgeable. I agree to this statement and I will discuss about the advantages of experience than knowledge in workplace. Knowledge is also a power but one can never achieves success without experience. As an example, a doctor can’t treat a patient without experience. Although he knows so much in theoretically, there are many things in real life which are differ from theory. This knowledge can only be obtained by experiences. Another huge advantage of hiring an experienced staff is that they can reduce time and cost needed to train new staffs because they already knew what they have to do. Thus why most companies prefer to have experienced workers. Experienced worker can also manage the critical situations and making plans immediately because he or she already had an experience of that particular situation. In conclusion, experience makes one’s personality stronger and having more confident. So, the advantages of hiring an experienced one outweigh the disadvantages.
In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
developing era, there are more competitions taking place everywhere to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job. And most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are giving a favor to those who are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
than those who are more knowledgeable.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this statement and I will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
than knowledge in workplace.

Knowledge is
also
a power
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one can never achieves success without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. As an example, a doctor can’t treat a patient without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. Although he knows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much in
theoretically
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in real life which are
Consider using a past participle here: "differed".
differ
from theory. This knowledge can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be obtained
by experiences.

Another huge advantage of hiring an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
staff is that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
time and cost needed to train new staffs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they already knew what they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
why most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
prefer to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
workers.

Experienced worker can
also
manage the critical situations and making plans immediately
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he or she already had an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of that particular situation.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
one’s personality stronger and having more confident.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the advantages of hiring an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
one outweigh the disadvantages.
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IELTS essay nowadays experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries essays

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
191 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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