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Nowadays, even though imprisonment is an efficient solution for preventing crime, education proved to be a more efficient one. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, even though imprisonment is an efficient solution for preventing crime, education proved to be a more efficient one. wBOAE
Crime has become an insurmountable issue for every region of the world. Although, prison sentences hold the most vital position in a majority of countries, education is a more effective solution for this issue. I personally agree with the given assertion and the reasons will be presented below. To commence with, severe prison sentences are by far the most common path to lessen the crime rates. It is an undeniable fact that harsh punishments act as a deterrent to people who want to turn to career of crime. Furthermore almost everyone knows that when they commit crimes, then there might be a chance of being condemned to jail, which is loosing their freedom and living a misery life in a cell. Hence, being sent to prison is a prevalent way among a myriad of countries in solving the problem of crime. On the other hand, education serves as a remedy for origin of crimes. To be more precise, it is observed that a great deal of offenders does not attain well-rounded perspective of life owing to the lack of knowledge. Obtaining a considerable amount of knowledge by fundamental education can favour people not only for heightening their intellect, but also, dispelling any idea of committing crimes. By way of conclusion, even though, prison is a best way to tackle this issue, education eliminates this problem from its root. Therefore, I am in agreement with this view. I hope that if the crime rates are diminished appropriately, it will create a bright future a plethora of people.
Crime
has become an insurmountable issue for every region of the world. Although,
prison
sentences hold the most vital position in a majority of countries,
education
is a more effective solution for this issue. I
personally
agree
with the
given
assertion and the reasons will
be presented
below.

To commence with, severe
prison
sentences are by far the most common path to lessen the
crime
rates. It is an undeniable fact that harsh punishments act as a deterrent to
people
who want to turn to career of
crime
.
Furthermore
almost everyone knows that when they commit
crimes
, then there might be a chance of
being condemned
to jail, which is loosing their freedom and living a misery life in a cell.
Hence
, being
sent
to
prison
is a prevalent way among a myriad of countries in solving the problem of crime.

On the other hand
,
education
serves as a remedy for origin of
crimes
. To be more precise, it
is observed
that a great deal of offenders does not attain well-rounded perspective of life owing to the lack of knowledge. Obtaining a considerable amount of knowledge by fundamental
education
can
favour
people
not
only
for heightening their intellect,
but
also
, dispelling any
idea
of committing crimes.

By way of conclusion,
even though
,
prison
is
a
best way to tackle this issue,
education
eliminates this problem from its root.
Therefore
, I am in agreement with this view. I hope that if the
crime
rates
are diminished
appropriately
, it will create a bright future a plethora of
people
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, even though imprisonment is an efficient solution for preventing crime, education proved to be a more efficient one.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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