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Nowadays, demand for practical education is increasing, and more children from the age 11 or 13 choose to go to schools to learn more practical skills rather than academic education.

Nowadays, demand for practical education is increasing, and more children from the age 11 or 13 choose to go to schools to learn more practical skills rather than academic education. 3ePw
Nowadays, demand for practical education is increasing, and more children from the age 11 or 13 choose to go to schools to learn more practical skills rather than academic education. In my opinion this is misconception to compare them in isolation from one another because academic education and practical education go hand by hand. First of all we must point out that learning main subjects like English, Art, Mathematics and various languages cannot be avoided in the early stage of education, because it is the basis for the further practical skills, which required for any job. But in order to ensure that children do not lose the knowledge they have acquired, they need to strengthen it in practice. This is the main correlation between these two types of education.
Nowadays, demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is increasing, and more children from the age 11 or 13 choose to go to schools to learn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
rather
than academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In my opinion this is misconception to compare them in isolation from one another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
go hand by hand.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
point out that learning main subjects like English, Art, Mathematics and various languages cannot
be avoided
in the early stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the basis for the
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which required for any job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in order to ensure that children do not lose the knowledge they have acquired, they need to strengthen it in practice. This is the main correlation between these two types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.

IELTS essay Nowadays, demand for practical education is increasing, and more children from the age 11 or 13 choose to go to schools to learn more practical skills rather than academic education.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
129 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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