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Nowadays criminals are usually imprisoned. Is this way working or not? Are there better ways to punish/rehabilitate criminals?

Nowadays criminals are usually imprisoned. Is this way working or not? Are there better ways to punish/rehabilitate criminals? VByjJ
In recent years, it has been observed that offenders are generally sentenced to imprisonment for minor and serious crimes. This essay will look into whether this practice is beneficial or not and will suggest some better modes of punishment. Admittedly, captivating criminals is the most successful form of punishment but I believe, it has some repercussions as well. In some countries, like Pakistan, criminals of petty crimes are also kept in prison for years which makes the prison over crowded, as a result, a number of problems arise. For example, according to a newspaper report, central jail of Punjab is captivating thousands of prisoners which is beyond its capacity and resultantly, prisoners are deprived of food and other necessities. In addition, this may also pave easy path for serious criminals to lure minor offenders into the world of crimes, as it gets increasingly difficult for the guards to keep an eye on each and every prisoner. However, there are other ways with which criminals of minor offences can be punished and put on right path. Firstly, most of the minor offences are committed because of unemployment and teaching new skills, instead of years of imprisonment, is certainly a better option. This will allow criminals to acquire jobs and will forbid them from committing crimes in the future. Secondly, community services, commonly used in the USA, is also an effective method for rehabilitation of criminals. This method is specially successful to discipline young offenders and give them the opportunity to correct their mistakes. In conclusion, imprisoning every criminal, regardless of the severity of the crime, is making jails overcrowded and it also enables serious criminals to attract minor offenders to crime world. Therefore, educating the criminals and community service are probably better ways to treat offenders of minor crimes.
In recent years, it has
been observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
are
generally
sentenced to imprisonment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
and serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. This essay will look into whether this practice is beneficial or not and will suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
better modes of punishment.

Admittedly
, captivating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
is the most successful form of punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
repercussions
as well
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, like Pakistan,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
of petty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in prison for years which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the prison over crowded,
as a result
, a number of problems arise.
For example
, according to a newspaper report, central jail of Punjab is captivating thousands of prisoners which is beyond its capacity and
resultantly
, prisoners
are deprived
of food and other necessities.
In addition
, this may
also
pave easy path for serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to lure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
into the world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
increasingly
difficult for the guards to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on each and every prisoner.

However
, there are other ways with which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
can
be punished
and put on right path.
Firstly
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
are committed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unemployment and teaching new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
instead
of years of imprisonment, is
certainly
a better option. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to acquire jobs and will forbid them from committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in the future.
Secondly
, community services,
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the USA, is
also
an effective method for rehabilitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. This method is
specially
successful to discipline young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
and give them the opportunity to correct their mistakes.

In conclusion
, imprisoning every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
, regardless of the severity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, is making jails overcrowded and it
also
enables serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
world.
Therefore
, educating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and community service are
probably
better ways to treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays criminals are usually imprisoned. Is this way working or not? Are there better ways to punish/rehabilitate criminals?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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