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Nowadays, criminals are usually. It is time that education and job training should replace imprisonment to deal with criminals. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, criminals are usually. It is time that education and job training should replace imprisonment to deal with criminals. BwKo6
Criminal justice has long been a contentious issue. Some think that criminals must be treated in jail, while others suggest that they should be provided training courses and re-education programs. Both strategies, in my opinion, should be used for the following reasons. On the one hand, I believe the primary justification for keeping severe offenders in jail is to protect the public from criminals. Some heinous crimes, such as rape, murder, or drug trafficking, are difficult to accept because they cause significant social harm. Those criminal activities would carry a life sentence or the death penalty in many places of the world. As a result, jails encourage people to consider the repercussions of their actions before to committing a crime, lowering crime rates. Furthermore, I cannot overlook some of the advantages of education and employment training for convicts. To begin, a prisoner can improve his or her chances of getting work after release by learning certain required skills. They may be less likely to conduct crimes after they lose their capacity to make a living. Additionally, training sessions would help not just the inmates, as well as the prison security personnel, who would see fewer disruptive activities. In fact, convicts who participate in these courses have limited time to get into trouble. To summarize, knowledge and skills have the potential to improve a guy's life. By and large, I believe that major criminals should be punished to jail, whereas small offenders should be provided with training classes to obtain skills and information that will be of great use to them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Criminal
justice has long been a contentious issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be treated
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
, while others suggest that they should
be provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
courses and re-education programs. Both strategies, in my opinion, should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the following reasons.

On the one hand, I believe the primary justification for keeping severe offenders in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
is to protect the public from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
heinous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, such as rape, murder, or drug trafficking, are difficult to accept
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cause significant social harm. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities would carry a life sentence or the death penalty in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places of the world.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to consider the repercussions of their actions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, lowering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates.

Furthermore
, I cannot overlook
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
advantages of education and employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
for convicts. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, a prisoner can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
chances of getting work after release by learning certain required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. They may be less likely to conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
after they lose their capacity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
sessions would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the inmates,
as well
as the prison security personnel, who would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
fewer disruptive activities. In fact, convicts who participate in these courses have limited time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into trouble.
To summarize
, knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
have the potential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a guy's life.

By and large, I believe that major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should
be punished
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
offenders should
be provided
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
classes to obtain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and information that will be of great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to them.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, criminals are usually. It is time that education and job training should replace imprisonment to deal with criminals.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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