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Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. DlNwj
The modern childhood is far more complex and entertaining that the ones preceding our era, which has brought forward arguments whether children benefit from or are mentally recessing. I believe TV shows and video games evolve a child's mental abilities, nevertheless at some level disturbing animations of these gadgets certainly disrupt mental-health balance. Contemporary movies, TV programs and animated games have upgraded children's agility and reflexes. The younger generation has become faster problem-solver than in the past. I believe such entertainments have brought their stake in such rapid development we are living currently. To illustrate, a child who has been playing video games entailing difficult riddle solution, activates the logical part in the brain responsible for such tasks, thus contributing in much easier and faster mathematical problem solutions at school. The latter phenomenon ensures smart and qualified future scholars, who build up our scientific progress. Contrary to being advantageous to once's cognitive functions, various video games or shows may harm a minor's mental balance. Such programs or plays include horrifying animations accompanied with adequately frightening music. These may sit far behind the subconscious of an emotionally undeveloped person and infest him/her self-portrait in the future. A good example to the latter statement is in fact the mass shootings in the USA, where children under 18 start punishing their classmates by replicating their video-game acts. This way they fill themselves heroes, since they fill the same about the ones in the animated plays. This is the extent of I concur with the idea that video games and TV shows are disadvantageous for the underages' mental wellbeing. To conclude, I believe entertaining programs, available on screens or play consoles, do benefit a child at a certain level. Nevertheless, parents need to be cautious what type of movies or virtual games their children are watching or playing, since disturbing ones are widespread and distorting for a child's mental stability.
The modern childhood is far more complex and entertaining that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
preceding our era, which has brought forward arguments whether children benefit from or are mentally recessing. I believe TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
evolve a child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
abilities,
nevertheless
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
level disturbing animations of these gadgets
certainly
disrupt mental-health balance.

Contemporary movies, TV programs and animated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have upgraded children's agility and reflexes. The younger generation has become faster problem-solver than in the past. I believe such entertainments have brought their stake in such rapid development we are living
currently
. To illustrate, a child who has been playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
entailing difficult riddle solution, activates the logical part in the brain responsible for such tasks,
thus
contributing in much easier and faster mathematical problem solutions at school. The latter phenomenon ensures smart and qualified future scholars, who build up our scientific progress.

Contrary to being advantageous to once's cognitive functions, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
may harm a minor's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
balance. Such programs or plays include horrifying animations
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanied by".
accompanied with
adequately
frightening music. These may sit far behind the subconscious of an
emotionally
undeveloped person and infest him/her self-portrait in the future. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example to the latter statement is in fact the mass shootings in the USA, where children under 18
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
punishing their classmates by replicating their video-game acts. This way they fill themselves heroes, since they fill the same about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in the animated plays. This is the extent of I concur with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
are disadvantageous for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
underages
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
.

To conclude
, I believe entertaining programs, available on screens or play consoles, do benefit a child at a certain level.
Nevertheless
, parents need to be cautious what type of movies or virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
their children are watching or playing, since disturbing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are widespread and distorting for a child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
stability.
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IELTS essay Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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