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Nowadays, cellphones or mobile and the internet are very crucial to the ways in which individuals relate to one another socially.Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, cellphones or mobile and the internet are very crucial to the ways in which individuals relate to one another socially. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? 7PXdX
In the contemporary era, it is often noted that how electronic gadgets such as smartphones and the web are indispensable for civilians especially when it comes to socializing. However, this essay will shed light on that this is certainly advantageous despite few inevitable drawbacks. First of all, there are some crucial benefits behind the circumstances. To commence with the bright side, it will help people to communicate with each other without any barrier. In the other words, even though they live far from their loved ones, they can easily chat with them by staying at home. Moreover, if any consumer wants to file a complaint then they don't even have to travel to the seller. They can simply call them and solve issues as soon as possible without much effort. To justify my point of view, I would like to give evidence of a survey which was conducted by The University of Oxford. A survey revealed that more than 80℅ entrepreneurs are relying on their mobile phones and video calling to do business. Therefore, several people are in favor of this device. In contrast, there are also some unpleasant consequences as well. Initially, many individuals turn into an introvert since they don't have to do face to face conversation and depending on modern technology. Additionally, The more android phone they used, The more impact they have on their mental health. In other words, cell phones are not going to increase their anxiety but also they will lose their confidence too. For instance, an article published by The Time state that more than 50% public is suffering from clinical depression due to iPhone. Hence, it has some trouble too. In conclusion, although, there are some disadvantages, I believe that modern phones and the internet offer more merits than demerits. Nevertheless, efforts should be made to minimize the latter.
In the contemporary era, it is
often
noted that how electronic gadgets such as smartphones and the web are indispensable for civilians
especially
when it
comes
to socializing.
However
, this essay will shed light on that this is
certainly
advantageous despite few inevitable drawbacks.

First of all
, there are
some
crucial benefits behind the circumstances. To commence with the bright side, it will
help
people
to communicate with each other without any barrier. In the other words,
even though
they
live
far from their
loved
ones, they can
easily
chat with them by staying at home.
Moreover
, if any consumer wants to file a complaint then they don't even
have to
travel to the seller. They can
simply
call them and solve issues as
soon
as possible without much effort. To justify my point of view, I would like to give evidence of a survey which
was conducted
by The University of Oxford. A survey revealed that more than 80℅ entrepreneurs are relying on their mobile
phones
and video calling to do business.

Therefore
, several
people
are in favor of this device.

In contrast
, there are
also
some
unpleasant consequences
as well
.
Initially
,
many
individuals turn into an introvert since they don't
have to
do face to face conversation and depending on modern technology.
Additionally
, The more android
phone
they
used
, The more impact they have on their mental health.
In other words
, cell
phones
are not going to increase their anxiety
but
also
they will lose their confidence too.
For instance
, an article published by The Time state that more than 50% public is suffering from clinical depression due to iPhone.
Hence
, it has
some
trouble too.

In conclusion
, although, there are
some
disadvantages, I believe that modern
phones
and the internet offer more merits than demerits.
Nevertheless
, efforts should
be made
to minimize the latter.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, cellphones or mobile and the internet are very crucial to the ways in which individuals relate to one another socially. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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