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Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. kprR
Many people argue that the stars of the world of entertainment are not inspiring role models for the young because they gain their success more by virtue of their money and looks than by their talents. In my view, this position is not justified at all. I consider that, for most celebrities, the root cause of their success and fame is their talent. For example, Ed Sheeran and Adele are singer/songwriters who, over a number of years, have acquired prestige within the music industry as well as with legions of fans primarily on account of the quality of their songs and performances. This in turn has made them fabulously rich. In Adele’s case, her glamorous image has grown alongside her career success, while Ed Sheeran is generally not considered to have special sex appeal, despite the popularity of his music. Even if glamour and/or financial resources play a significant role in the success of some entertainers, by no means does it suggest to me that the younger generation form a poor impression of them. This is because the young tend to be aware also of the hard work that many performers put in, irrespective of the presence of the two factors mentioned. The example of K-Pop bands illustrates this point well. While stunning good looks appear to be main explanation for their meteoric rise to stardom, many young Koreans are aware of the effort that members of these groups make in order to appear attractive and to dance to an exceptionally high standard. In conclusion, I take the view that the recognition by younger people of the work that celebrities undertake in order to achieve and maintain their fame protects the former from being influenced negatively by the opulent lifestyles and glamour of the latter.
Many
people
argue that the stars of the world of entertainment are not inspiring role models for the young
because
they gain their
success
more by virtue of their money and looks than by their talents. In my view, this position is not justified at all.

I consider that, for most celebrities, the root cause of their
success
and fame is their talent.
For example
, Ed Sheeran and Adele are singer/songwriters who, over a number of years, have acquired prestige within the music industry
as well
as with legions of fans
primarily
on account of the quality of their songs and performances. This in turn has made them
fabulously
rich. In Adele’s case, her glamorous image has grown alongside her career
success
, while Ed Sheeran is
generally
not considered to have special sex appeal, despite the popularity of his music.

Even if glamour and/or financial resources play a significant role in the
success
of
some
entertainers, by no means does it suggest to me that the younger generation form a poor impression of them. This is
because
the young tend to be aware
also
of the
hard
work that
many
performers put in, irrespective of the presence of the two factors mentioned. The example of K-Pop bands illustrates this point well. While stunning
good
looks appear to be main explanation for their meteoric rise to stardom,
many
young Koreans are aware of the effort that members of these groups
make
in order to appear attractive and to dance to an
exceptionally
high standard.

In conclusion
, I take the view that the recognition by younger
people
of the work that celebrities undertake in order to achieve and maintain their fame protects the former from
being influenced
negatively
by the opulent lifestyles and glamour of the latter.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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