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Nowadays, a big number of qualified professionals in different areas such as health or education, decide to move to more developed countries in order to find better job opportunities

Nowadays, a big number of qualified professionals in different areas such as health or education, decide to move to more developed countries in order to find better job opportunities LB01G
Nowadays, a big number of qualified professionals in different areas such as health or education, decide to move to more developed countries in order to find better job opportunities. Consequently, different problems emerge: there is a brain drain in the regions of origin and a cultural shock between communities in the main destinations. Different solutions to tackle the problem will be discussed. It is obvious that opportunities to have a wealthy life are unequal among different regions in the world. Countries in development have less resources and their workers suffer from it. For instance, their education system or healthcare facilities are in need of improvement. Moreover, the conditions of their job positions are not as good as in where is called the first world. As a result, there is a flow of people towards richer countries looking for a better life. The migration of workers has its consequences. On the one hand, it troubles the countries of origin with a brain drain leaving a lack of trained professionals and leading to more poverty. Furthermore, there is a loss in demographic numbers provoking a diminution in the cultural heritage of the country and contributing to a more globalised world. On the other hand, the new residents arrived in the developed regions have to face a cultural shock between communties and sometimes discrimination from locals. The anger from the local inhabitants comes because the governments try to ensure aid to the people with less resources and most of the time these are the new migrants. It goes without saying that solutions need to be taken. It would be positive for both parties if the most developed regions could provide education and information to the areas with less resources to improve their working systems with the aim of preventing a massive migration. If there were still some people who felt the need to find a better life, the receiving communities should be educated to understand the migrant population and integration programmes might be carried on. Overall, a flow of inhabitants from less developed countries to richer areas is a reality leading to a lack of qualified workers in the countries of origin and causing conflicts of interests in the receiving communities. Solutions such as an improvement of the working systems of the poorer countries and programmes to help the newcomers to be introduced in the new communities should be considered.
Nowadays, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
number of qualified professionals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
areas such as health or education, decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in order to find better job opportunities.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
problems emerge: there is a brain drain in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
of origin and a cultural shock between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
in the main destinations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Different
solutions to tackle the problem will
be discussed
.

It is obvious that opportunities to have a wealthy life are unequal among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
in the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
in development have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
resources and their workers suffer from it.
For instance
, their education system or healthcare facilities are in need of improvement.
Moreover
, the conditions of their job positions are not as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as in where
is called
the
first
world.
As a result
, there is a flow of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
towards richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
looking for a better life.

The migration of workers has its consequences. On the one hand, it troubles the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of origin with a brain drain leaving a lack of trained professionals and leading to more poverty.
Furthermore
, there is a loss in demographic numbers provoking a diminution in the cultural heritage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and contributing to a more
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalised' is British English.
globalised
world.
On the other hand
, the new residents arrived in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face a cultural shock between
Possible spelling mistake found.
communties
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
discrimination from locals. The anger from the local inhabitants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
try to ensure aid to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
resources and most of the time these are the new migrants.

It goes without saying that solutions need to
be taken
. It would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for both parties if the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
could provide education and information to the areas with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their working systems with the aim of preventing a massive migration. If there were
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who felt the need to find a better life, the receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
should
be educated
to understand the migrant population and integration
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
might
be carried
on.

Overall
, a flow of inhabitants from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to richer areas is a reality leading to a lack of qualified workers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of origin and causing conflicts of interests in the receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
. Solutions such as an improvement of the working systems of the poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the newcomers to
be introduced
in the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
should
be considered
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, a big number of qualified professionals in different areas such as health or education, decide to move to more developed countries in order to find better job opportunities

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
397 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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