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Now a days , people are lesa fit and active than in the past.what are the possible causes and discuss the solutions.

Now a days, people are lesa fit and active than in the past. what are the possible causes and discuss the solutions. Kyw56
Recently, the problem of passive lifestyle in modern era has become a grave concern around the globe. Mostly, the people are less active and energetic as compared to old times. Different factors are responsible for the sedantry way of life, as the predominant contributing factors would be the kind of food and lifestyle, still certain progmatic remedies hold a complete potential to mitigate this issue. Among the various causes, the food we eat is a type of junk food, is generally considered to be of paramount importance. Today, the young generation prefer fast food instead of homemade dishes, thats why they face different health problems like obesity, cardio-vascular diseases and high blood pressure because that kind of food generally lack essential nutrients, directly effect our body function and individual become obese. To examplify, A recent study conducted by the food authority of India reported, 80% patients have heart and blood pressure issues. Similarly, the passive lifestyle, serve as another reason of this issue. Mostly, the people face load of work and they dont get quality time for physical exercise. Modern technology is another cause, directly related to this kind of lifestyle. People mostly spend their free time by watching movies and play games, as a result lack of body exercise. Their muscles are weak and eventually contract variety of diseases like Arthritis and Vit D deficiency. Hence, increase in the intensity of the problem can be attributed to the above stated factors. Meanwhile, despite of many causes, certain viable measures could be opted to deal with this situation effectively. Primarily, avoiding junk food, could be regarded as the potential effective solution. For instance, A survey conducted by University of California, suggested the heart patients are healing because of avoiding unhealthy food. Likewise, another suggested solution would be to promote outdoor games, as they play crucial role to stay healthy. It make out bones strong as well as strong mental health. Therefore, these proposed solutions can effectively counter this grave concern. To sum up, while reasons of this problem are predominant, still the above stated solutions can easily resolve this concern.
Recently, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
in modern era has become a grave concern around the globe.
Mostly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are less active and energetic as compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
times.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
factors are responsible for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sedantry
way of life, as the predominant contributing factors would be the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
,
still
certain
Possible spelling mistake found.
progmatic
remedies hold a complete potential to mitigate this issue. Among the various causes, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
we eat is a type of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, is
generally
considered to be of paramount importance.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the young generation prefer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
instead
of homemade dishes,
Possible spelling mistake found
thats
why they face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like obesity, cardio-vascular diseases and high blood pressure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
generally
lack essential nutrients,
directly
effect our body function and individual become obese. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
, A recent study conducted by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
authority of India reported, 80% patients have heart and blood pressure issues.
Similarly
, the passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
, serve as another reason of this issue.
Mostly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face load of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
quality time for physical exercise. Modern technology is another cause,
directly
related to this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
mostly
spend their free time by watching movies and play games,
as a result
lack of body exercise. Their muscles are weak and
eventually
contract variety of diseases like Arthritis and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vit
D deficiency.
Hence
, increase in the intensity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be attributed
to the above stated factors. Meanwhile,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes, certain viable measures could
be opted
to deal with this situation
effectively
.
Primarily
, avoiding junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, could
be regarded
as the potential effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
.
For instance
, A survey conducted by University of California, suggested the heart patients are healing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of avoiding unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Likewise
, another suggested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
would be to promote outdoor games, as they play crucial role to stay healthy. It
Did you mean "makes"?
make
out bones strong
as well
as strong mental health.
Therefore
, these proposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
can
effectively
counter this grave concern. To sum up, while reasons of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
are predominant,
still
the above stated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
can
easily
resolve this concern.
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IELTS essay Now a days, people are lesa fit and active than in the past. what are the possible causes and discuss the solutions.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
350 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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