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Now-a-days many people go foreign to work for a long time with their family. I would like to discuss my view points on this topic.

There are many advantages and disadvantages of going abroad with the family. Firstly, I will highlight the advantages. To begin with, when people start a new life at a new place, they need some mental support with them so at that time family member’s presence helpful the. Secondly, if someone has an emergency in abroad, having a family by them side have a major advantage. For example, if any individual fall sick at that moment they have their family to take care of them. Furthermore, it is golden chance for the people to explore the new place with their loved one and make unforgettable memories. Moreover, People can easily focus on their work as they do not need to worry about any household chores. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of having family at a new place with them. Firstly, living with family members at abroad may led to more expense. One person can stay anywhere and share the room with anyone but if people live with family then they need proper home to stay. Another point is sometimes for the older people it difficult to adjust in the weather otherwise they get sick. For example, someone who live in Dubai but for the work purpose they move to Canada then it would be tough for the parents to adjust in cold weather who spend their most of life in warm weather. In a nutshell, I personally believe that there are more advantage for the individual and for their family as well if they visit foreign countries.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages of going abroad with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Firstly
, I will highlight the
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advantages
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, when
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
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new
life at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
place, they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental support with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
at that time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member’s presence helpful
Did you forget something after ‘the’?
the.
Secondly
, if someone has an emergency in abroad, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
by them side have a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
.
For example
, if any individual fall sick at that moment they have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to take care of them.

Furthermore
, it is golden chance for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
place with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
unforgettable memories.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
easily
focus on their work as they do not need to worry about any household chores.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
place with them.
Firstly
, living with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members at abroad may
The modal verb ‘may’ requires the verb’s base form.
led
to more expense. One person can stay anywhere and share the room with anyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
then they need proper home to stay. Another point is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
for the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean “is” or “it is”?
it
difficult to adjust in the weather
otherwise
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick.
For example
, someone who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Dubai
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for the work purpose they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to Canada then it would be tough for the parents to adjust in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
weather who spend their
Consider using “most life” or “most of the life”.
most of life
in warm weather.

In a nutshell, I
personally
believe that there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
for the individual and for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as well
if they visit foreign countries.
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IELTS essay Now-a-days many people go foreign to work for a long time with their family. I would like to discuss my view points on this topic.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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