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no some people feel that it is better to live in small families while others say living in joint family of big family has better outcomes discuss both views and give your opinion

People have different views about which the types of family they like to live in. While there are some advantages of living in a nuclear family, I would argue that it is better for people live in multiple generations family. On the one hand, there are several benefits of living as a nuclear family. Firstly, since the members of nuclear family tend to have fewer children than large family groups, children are more closer to their parents and they can have more free and frank discussion about their problems with parents. For example, parents can give some advice to choose the best school when their children are confused and worry. As a result, educating children is easier and more effective which helps for the better development of their personalities. Secondly, because the parents can get time to plan and manage their children independently without the interference of elders, parents in nuclear household are more likely to have a higher consistency in raising their children such as teaching discipline and strict attitude when needed. Therefore, children achieve good results as expected by parents easily. If living in a large family, children might be embarrassed by a lot of opinions from their parents, grandparents and each other who live with. On the other hand, i believe that it is propitious for people to live in extended family. First, due to the popularity of both parents working and earning money, the willing of healthy grandparents helps to take care of young grandchildren during the day. This encourages grandparents and children to spend time together and add value to each other's lives. For instance, the grandparents may not become lonely and isolated when they live alone and children can learn about caring for their elders. Without helping from elders, the bonds between grandparents and grandchildren might be loose and parents can consume a significant amount on childcare costs. Additionally, the need to cultivate and carry on family culture and traditions throughout different generations is often very important to families, such as expat families. Therefore, in an extended family, members can work together to expose their children and grandchildren to some aspects they would experience in their home country, such as language, foods and traditions. But this is not only true for expat families, many non-expat families also find that their children have the opportunity to learn different values and gain a greater understanding of tradition when they live with multiple generations of their family. To sum up, while living in a nuclear family has some benefits for people to some extent, I believe choosing to live in extended family is a better opinion.
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People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about which the types of
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family
they like to
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live
in. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, I would argue that it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in multiple
An apostrophe may be missing.
generations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. On the one hand, there are several benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
as a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Firstly
, since the members of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
tend to have fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
groups,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
Use only “closer” (without ‘more’) when you use the comparative.
more closer
to their
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parents and
they can have more free and frank discussion about their problems with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advice to choose the best school when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are confused
and worry.
As a result
, educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is easier and more effective which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
for the better development of their personalities.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
time to plan and manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
independently
without the interference of elders,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in nuclear household are more likely to have a higher consistency in raising their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
such as teaching discipline and strict attitude when needed.
Therefore
,
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children
achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
easily
. If
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living
in a large
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family
,
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children
might
be embarrassed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opinions from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
and each other who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with.
On the other hand
,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that it is propitious for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
First
, due to the popularity of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
working and earning money, the willing of healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to take care of young grandchildren during the day. This encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to spend time together and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
value to each other's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
may not become lonely and isolated when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn about caring for their elders. Without helping from elders, the bonds between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
and grandchildren might be loose and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can consume a significant amount on childcare costs.
Additionally
, the need to cultivate and carry on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
culture and traditions throughout
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, such as expat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Therefore
, in an extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, members can work together to expose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and grandchildren to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects they would experience in their home country, such as language, foods and traditions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
true for expat
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families
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
non-expat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
also
find that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have the opportunity to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
values and gain a greater understanding of tradition when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with multiple generations of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. To sum up, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I believe choosing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is a better opinion.
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IELTS essay no some people feel that it is better to live in small families while others say living in joint family of big family has better outcomes discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
439 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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