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Newspapers and magazines will not be available in the near future because large amounts of information from the internet will replace them. Do you agree or disagree? Give some examples from your own experience. v.3

Newspapers and magazines will not be available in the near future because large amounts of information from the internet will replace them. Give some examples from your own experience. v. 3
It is widely held believe that paper media will disappear in the next decades and websites and online magazines will be in the trend, but there is strong counter argument from amongst sections of people that do not agree with this argument. However, I am of the opinion that this matter to be debated in the light of several factors before any conclusion can be drawn. First of all, nowadays, young generation tend to surf on the internet and prefer read all news and eye-catching contents online. One the other hand, we can see elder people who read large newspapers and glans magazines in the city park. Undoubtedly, internet is efficient tool for society where people are able to find out all informations with one click. As a matter of fact, internet resources have more impact for users that the paper. For instance, reader is able to watch video, photo and read article related worldwide event such as presidential election and sport tournament. In my opinion, it is better to have video and more photo gallery on the one page. In the newspaper readers can one or two photo and video is impossible. As a reader, I prefer websites in order to have more and full information with multimedia contents such as video report and face-to-face audio interview. Moreover, we are able to write comments and share most viewed or commented content. Secondly, newspaper and magazines have their own advantages since during the my childhood we can not know what is internet or wi-fi. Therefore paper was the brilliant treasure and main information source for society members. It seems ridiculous, I sometimes ache for read magazine or newspaper just for feel paper smell and remember my school time. Also our care givers and parents are not able to surf in the internet and newspaper saves its necessity in the society. For example, my father and mother, who 56 and 58 respectively, usually buy daily newspaper and weekly magazines links that internet is strange toll for them. To sum up, although there are a number of different points of view regarding this issue, I claim that both, internet and newspaper/magazine, should be alive in the society since there are older generation who prefer paper and young people that put the online resources in the first place. Moreover, in my view, editorial will not interfere readers preference and honor both groups choice.
It is
widely
held believe that paper media will disappear in the
next
decades and websites and online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
will be in the trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is strong counter argument from amongst sections of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this argument.
However
, I am of the opinion that this matter to
be debated
in the light of several factors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any conclusion can
be drawn
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, nowadays, young generation tend to surf on the internet and prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
all news and eye-catching contents online.
Did you mean "on"?
One
the other hand, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and glans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
in the city park.
Undoubtedly
, internet is efficient tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to find out all
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
with one click. As a matter of fact, internet resources have more impact for users that the paper.
For instance
, reader is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
, photo and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
article related worldwide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
such as presidential election and sport tournament. In my opinion, it is better to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
and more photo gallery on the one page. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
readers can one or two photo and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
is impossible. As a reader, I prefer websites in order to have more and full information with multimedia contents such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
report and face-to-face audio interview.
Moreover
, we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to write comments and share most viewed or commented content.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages since during
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "my childhood" or "the childhood"?
the my childhood
we can not know what is internet or
Possible spelling mistake found.
wi-fi
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
paper was the brilliant treasure and main information source for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
members. It seems ridiculous, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
ache for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazine
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for feel paper smell and remember my school time.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
our care givers and parents are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to surf in the internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
saves its necessity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
, my father and mother, who 56 and 58
respectively
,
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
and weekly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
links that internet is strange toll for them.

To sum up, although there are a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
points of view regarding this issue, I claim that both, internet and newspaper/magazine, should be alive in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
since there are older generation who prefer paper and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that put the online resources in the
first
place.
Moreover
, in my view, editorial will not interfere readers preference and honor both groups choice.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Newspapers and magazines will not be available in the near future because large amounts of information from the internet will replace them. Give some examples from your own experience. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
400 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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