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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? DeY7
It is true that children spend a significant amount of time playing with the latest technological gadgets. While some might argue that there are multiple drawbacks to this pattern, I would argue that the benefits outweigh any disadvantages. On the one hand, when children waste their time playing video games or browsing the Internet, there are two significant implications. Firstly, these habits lead to less contact among children and to a sedentary lifestyle, which these games promote. This means that children do not have enough time to participate in outdoor activities which are important for their proper growth and social interaction. Another factor that contributes to health issues is people spending too much of their leisure time on computers or cellphones. For example, if they stare at a screen or monitor for long periods of time, they can suffer from vision problems which are harmful to their mental health. On the other hand, I agree with those who feel that the benefits outweigh any potential drawbacks. The most significant is that, unlike in the past, children nowadays have a number of options to spend their free time. New technologies allow children to expand their awareness through interactive apps in this case. Kids, for example, can learn more about nature by watching the Animal World channel rather than listening to the radio or reading the newspaper. Another thing to remember is that the Internet not only offers a plethora of valuable knowledge with only a few mouse clicks, but it also lets children make friends from all over the world via chat rooms and social networking sites like Facebook or Instagram. As a result, emerging innovations allow young people to build a broad network of virtual peers while also improving their self-study. In conclusion, I contend that the benefits of this pattern outweigh the disadvantages.
It is true that
children
spend a significant amount of
time
playing with the latest technological gadgets. While
some
might argue that there are multiple drawbacks to this pattern, I would argue that the benefits outweigh any disadvantages.

On the one hand, when
children
waste their
time
playing video games or browsing the Internet, there are two significant implications.
Firstly
, these habits lead to less contact among
children
and to a sedentary lifestyle, which these games promote. This means that
children
do not have
enough
time
to participate in outdoor activities which are
important
for their proper growth and social interaction. Another factor that contributes to health issues is
people
spending too much of their leisure
time
on computers or cellphones.
For example
, if they stare at a screen or monitor for long periods of
time
, they can suffer from vision problems which are harmful to their mental health.

On the other hand
, I
agree
with those who feel that the benefits outweigh any potential drawbacks. The most significant is that, unlike in the past,
children
nowadays have a number of options to spend their free
time
. New technologies
allow
children
to expand their awareness through interactive apps
in this case
. Kids,
for example
, can learn more about nature by watching the Animal World channel
rather
than listening to the radio or reading the newspaper. Another thing to remember is that the Internet not
only
offers a plethora of valuable knowledge with
only
a few mouse clicks,
but
it
also
lets
children
make
friends from all over the world via chat rooms and social networking sites like Facebook or Instagram.
As a result
, emerging innovations
allow
young
people
to build a broad network of virtual peers while
also
improving their self-study.

In conclusion
, I contend that the benefits of this pattern outweigh the disadvantages.
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IELTS essay New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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