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New Technologies and way of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

New Technologies and way of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. with this opinion? O2qp
Now a days New Technologies, especially internet is showing higher impact on transaction of goods. Some people argues that it shows good effect, while others argue that it shows negative impact. However I agree that online shopping or internet plays a vital role in our livelihood. The main reasons are: money and time. Firstly, Money becomes essential part in current generation. Because of online shopping, there is a scope of comparing prices between multiple retailers to place the order. For few occasions, there will be sales introduced by individual merchants, so buyers can avail the facility. In other hands, few banks are providing offers in particular sites if we pay by using their cards. For example, in the eve of independence day/festivals vendors had introduced 50% sale on plethora of items with few credit/debit cards and because of it both vendors as well as consumers got benefited with it. For Vendors, their productivity got enlarged and buyers can fulfil their requirements. Another significant reason is Time, because of online shopping buyers time will be saved without travelling in congested traffic and no need to stand in a queue to pay the bills at shopping mall counters. Purchasing items using internet saves a lot of time and energy. It is mainly beneficial during pandemic tenure, we can avoid physical contact and goods will be delivered to doorstep. Shopping can be done day/night, as per feasible time. Recently, an article was published in magazine stating that the people who are buying online has increased by 40% when it compares to last year. To conclude, Consumers life has changed positively because of new technologies. Consumer not only have wide access to goods but also have greater exposure to information and more control over how they shop.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
New Technologies,
especially
internet is showing higher impact on transaction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
argues
that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
effect, while others argue that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
or internet plays a vital role in our livelihood. The main reasons are: money and time.

Firstly
, Money becomes essential part in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, there is a scope of comparing prices between multiple retailers to place the order. For few occasions, there will be sales introduced by individual merchants,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
buyers can avail the facility. In other hands, few banks are providing offers
in particular
sites if we pay by using their cards.
For example
, in the eve of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
independence day
/festivals vendors had introduced 50% sale on plethora of items with few credit/debit cards and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it both vendors
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
benefited with it. For Vendors, their productivity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
enlarged and buyers can fulfil their requirements.

Another significant reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
buyers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will
be saved
without travelling in congested traffic and no need to stand in a queue to pay the bills at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall counters. Purchasing items using internet saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy. It is
mainly
beneficial during pandemic tenure, we can avoid physical contact and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
will
be delivered
to doorstep.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
can
be done
day/night, as per feasible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Recently, an article
was published
in magazine stating that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has increased by 40% when it compares to last year.

To conclude
, Consumers life has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
positively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of new technologies. Consumer not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have wide access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have greater exposure to information and more control over how they shop.
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IELTS essay New Technologies and way of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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