Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

my parents died in a traffic accident

my parents died in a traffic accident 5BPOD
Back when I was ten years old, my parents died in a traffic accident, so I was nurtured by my grandmother who was too weak to work. This is the reason why I had to leave school and did odd jobs to earn a living, such as selling lottery tickets, washing dishes and doing babysitting. But one day, my grandma encouraged me to attend evening classes. I refused to study further at the first time, but then I thought again and I agreed because it could improve my literacy and job prospects. With a lot of difficulty and effort, I completed secondary education and passed a challenging exam to enter Medical University, which is one of the top universities in Vietnam. Unfortunately, I could not pay the tuition fees so I had to refuse the offer. Then one of my friends told me that I should check out the scholarship from 'The Thanh Nien' for college students from poor families. This was really good opportunity to start my university studies and hope for a better future. Trying to live on a very tight budget for six years of hard work at the university. Now I am working as a doctor at a hospital, and I am planning to set up and run a charitable organisation, as a way to encourage poor children to overcome hard times. Don't let poverty defeat you and destroy your hopes for a better future.
Back when I was ten years
old
, my parents
died
in a traffic accident,
so
I
was nurtured
by my grandmother who was too weak to work. This is the reason why I had to
leave
school and did odd jobs to earn a living, such as selling lottery tickets, washing dishes and
doing babysitting
.
But
one day, my grandma encouraged me to attend evening classes. I refused to study
further
at the
first
time,
but
then I
thought
again and I
agreed
because
it could
improve
my literacy and job prospects.

With
a lot of
difficulty and effort, I completed secondary education and passed a challenging exam to enter Medical
University
, which is one of the top
universities
in Vietnam. Unfortunately, I could not pay the tuition fees
so
I had to refuse the offer. Then one of my friends
told
me that I should
check
out the scholarship from 'The Thanh
Nien
' for college students from poor families. This was
really
good
opportunity to
start
my
university
studies and hope for a better future.

Trying to
live
on a
very
tight budget for six years of
hard
work at the
university
.
Now
I am working as a doctor at a hospital, and I am planning to set up and run a charitable
organisation
, as a way to encourage poor children to overcome
hard
times.

Don't
let
poverty defeat you and
destroy
your hopes for a better future.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay my parents died in a traffic accident

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6.5band
    Due to globalization, people nowadays no longer completely rely on locally grown
    Due to globalization, people nowadays no longer completely rely on locally grown food as they can now purchase and consume from various nations over the world. Though this phenomenon has several benefits as it widens our freedom as clients, there are still some severe disadvantages that make it a ha...
  • 6band
    The fall of the earth can be either ridiculous and bad at the same time
    Can you please send me the memo this afternoon? Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children. Others think parents needn’t do that as children can read books or watch TV, movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. There is an opinion that parents do not...
  • 5band
    Do you like living in an extended family or a nuclear family? Explain the reasons for your choice
    From my point of view, I prefer living in a nuclear family to living in an extended family. I choose nuclear family instead of extended family because living in nuclear family is comfortable. When you live in extended family, you will live with many people so you will get into trouble frequently. So...
  • 5.5band
    PROS AND CONS OF CO-EDUCATION
    Our society is becoming more and more developed. As a result, gender equality also improves and boys and girls can go to school equally. Therefore, co-education was born and gradually replace single-sex education. However, everything has two sides: advantages and disadvantages and co-education has n...
  • 5band
    academic resolution for new school year
    Freshmen, like myself, will have to learn to adjust to their new surroundings at the start of the new school year. As a result, academic resolution is crucial for men. These student new year resolutions can assist you in setting successful objectives that you will be able to attain and will benefit ...
  • 6.5band
    The picture displays the development os the mobile phone in two phases/stages
    The picture displays the development of the mobile phone in two phases. Overall it can be seen that the early mobile phone has transformed into a mobile phone that is equipped with more features but the size has become smaller and lighter looking at the picture in more detail both phases of the phon...