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Music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together

Music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together aRRm
Music plays an integral role in the culture of all countries. Every culture is proud of its music and most of the times, it remains an essential part of a person's hobby. I believe that music tends to form a strong connection among people. With the advent of internet and technologies, music produced in a region reaches a wider audience over the continents and countries. Music-lovers like to explore the music and many a times foreign music becomes the talk of the town in some age groups. For example, Enrique had equally become the heart-throb among the youngsters in India as that in the USA. Similarly, the music concerts/festivals like Tomorrowland and Sunburn also see the audiences from around the world who come together for the similar interest. This promotes unity among the people with the same music choices, no matter which culture they belong to. Consistent with this thinking, in similar fashion the old music tends to reinvent itself after some decades and we see people from old and new generations swinging to the beats of the same music. Therefore, I strong believe that music possesses the capability to connect the hear and soul of people who enjoy it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
plays an integral role in the culture of all countries. Every culture is proud of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
most of the times
, it remains an essential part of a person's hobby.

I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
tends to form a strong connection among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

With the advent of internet and technologies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
produced in a region reaches a wider audience over the continents and countries. Music-lovers like to explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
a times foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
becomes the talk of the town in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
age groups.

For example
, Enrique had
equally
become the heart-throb among the youngsters in India as that in the USA.

Similarly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
concerts/festivals like Tomorrowland and Sunburn
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the audiences from around the world who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together for the similar interest. This promotes unity among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
choices, no matter which culture they belong to.

Consistent with this thinking, in similar fashion the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
tends to reinvent itself after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
decades and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and new generations swinging to the beats of the same music.

Therefore
, I strong
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
possesses the capability to connect
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'hear' is correct. If 'hear' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the hear
and soul of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who enjoy it.
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IELTS essay Music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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