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Music brings pple together. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Music brings pple together. To what extend do you agree or disagree keEbK
Over the past few decades, various sorts of music have become extremely popular to people all over the world. There is a belief that one of many good ways to bring people of diverse cultures and ages together is music. And I strongly agree with this view. To embark on, there are several reasons why music has become such a popular activity of connecting people. First and foremost, when people listen to music, they can express lots of feelings such as happiness, sadness, anger regardless of their nationalities or ages. It should be noted that people can not always understand the meanings of words in a song, but it is the melody of the song that makes people like it. For example, a Vietnamese can easily be interested in US-UK songs due to their special melodies. And it can be seen that this is a really good way to break the boundaries among different countries. Moreover, it is undeniable that the distance between the elderly and youngsters is closer and closer with the help of music. We can easily see that nowadays there are a plethora of the young who fancy the types of music from the 1900s. For instance, a youngster can fall in love with many vintage songs of the old from many years ago. Besides, some senior citizens even like the new, fashion and typical sorts of music in the present day like the songs from Son Tung MTP, Den Vau, and My Tam. This has shown us that the generation gaps between two typical ages have become smaller and smaller, which means music is bringing people together much better. To conclude, I broadly agree that music has abilities to make people from everywhere regardless of their countries or their ages become more closer, therefore, our world will become better and better for sure.
Over the past few decades, various sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
extremely
popular to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world. There is a belief that one of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ways to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of diverse cultures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
together is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. And I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

To embark on, there are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
such a popular activity of connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
First
and foremost, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, they can express lots of feelings such as happiness, sadness, anger regardless of their nationalities or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
. It should
be noted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not always understand the meanings of words in a song,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is the melody of the song that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like it.
For example
, a Vietnamese can
easily
be interested
in US-UK songs due to their special melodies. And it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that this is a
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to break the boundaries among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.

Moreover
, it is undeniable that the distance between the elderly and youngsters is closer and closer with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. We can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that nowadays there are a plethora of the young who fancy the types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from the 1900s.
For instance
, a youngster can fall in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vintage songs of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years ago.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
senior citizens even like the new, fashion and typical sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in the present day like the songs from Son
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tung
MTP, Den
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vau
, and My Tam. This has shown us that the generation gaps between two typical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
smaller and smaller, which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together much better.

To conclude
, I
broadly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has abilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from everywhere regardless of their countries or their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
Use only "closer" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more closer
,
therefore
, our world will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
better and better for sure.
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IELTS essay Music brings pple together. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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