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Music bonds people together

Music bonds people together 8Garw
A lot of people state that music is a great path of bonding people of different cultures and ages. To some extend I agree with this statement. Music can actually have an ability to bring people together, but it’s not always like that. Music has been the piece of art and communication even since the ancient times. Nowadays people listen to different types of music depending on their interests. A popular or specified music can actually get people who like it and listen to it closer to each other. There are a lot of stories about how people meet and make friends with people with same interests as theirs because of music. However, music doesn’t always bring people together. Music tastes are considered to be just a small part of the listener’s personality. After all, music does bond people but it doesn’t guarantee to last for a lot of time, since there are much more things that can either be familiar in different people or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
state that
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music
is a great path of bonding
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people
of
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different
cultures and ages. To
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some
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
can actually have an ability to bring
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people
together,
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but
it’s not always like that.
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Music
has been the piece of art and communication even since the ancient times. Nowadays
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people
listen to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
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music
depending on their interests. A popular or specified
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music
can actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who like it and listen to it closer to each other. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
stories about how
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with
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people
with same interests as theirs
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because
of
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music
.
However
,
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music
doesn’t always bring
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people
together.
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Music
tastes
are considered
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
part of the listener’s personality.
After all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
does bond
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it doesn’t guarantee to last for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time, since there are much more things that can either be familiar in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or not.
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IELTS essay Music bonds people together

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
166 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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