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museums of own country rather than other country

museums of own country rather than other country L99b8
Reviving cultural heritage has become a great concern and museums play important role in keeping these valuable treasures. However, some debate about what the showcasing is in museums. I agree with the given statement that museums and art gallery should concentrate just on own country instead of others. Undoubtedly, it is necessary to appreciate own nation gratifies of the past because people can learn and take a variety of viewpoints. This helps nation to connect with their ancestors and improve their insight into what is their challenges and experiences. In other words, people should respect own history and pay attention on showcase of museum and art gallery help to revive them. Secondly, people who live in a country are responsible for transfer own ritual and civilization to next generation. When people do not aware of their history, it will distort and people will lose their identity in long run. That is why investment on museums and retain individual antics which belong to own country has a priority rather that other nations. On the other hand, many of museums display working from other countries and it provide great opportunity to get familiar with other customs and civilizations. For example, someone can find some antiques of Russia the Iran museum’s collections and get interested in to travel Russia. I believe it brings several advantages in term of economically and culturally. People can keep in touch with other counties and socialize more than past. Besides, it helps to tourist industry and bring about income and job market for local people. In conclusion, museums should show a mixture of works from different countries. In my opinion, it is significant to more pay attention on own heritage exhibition and look after them instead of investment on other countries.
Reviving cultural heritage has become a great concern and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in keeping these valuable treasures.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
debate about what the showcasing is in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and art gallery should concentrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
instead
of others.

Undoubtedly
, it is necessary to appreciate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation gratifies of the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn and take a variety of viewpoints. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
nation to connect with their ancestors and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their insight into what is their challenges and experiences. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should respect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
history and pay attention on showcase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and art gallery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to revive them.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
are responsible for transfer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ritual and civilization to
next
generation. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not aware of their history, it will distort and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will lose their identity in long run.
That is
why investment on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and retain individual antics which belong to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has a priority
rather
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
display working from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and it
Did you mean "provides"?
provide
great opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
customs and civilizations.
For example
, someone can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
antiques of Russia the Iran
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum’s
collections and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
interested in to travel Russia. I believe it brings several advantages in term of
economically
and
culturally
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
counties and socialize more than past.
Besides
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to tourist industry and bring about income and job market for local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a mixture of works from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In my opinion, it is significant to more pay attention on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
heritage exhibition and look after them
instead
of investment on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
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Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay museums of own country rather than other country

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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