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Museums charge for admission. So the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Museums charge for admission. So the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? m13Kq
People pay for visiting museums. The merit of this idea seems rather than a negative point. In the following essay negative and positive points of charging museum will be argued. Preserving artworks with desirable quality would be the advantage of exhibitions charge for admission. Moreover, there are many options in museums that keep them needs financial support and a part of this protection can be provided from charging. For instance, repairing artworks or art galleries staff incomes that a segment in them are provided by people paying. So, charge to admission in museums will be beneficial to take care of artworks or historical monuments. The disadvantage of spending money as admission in the exhibition would be decreasing observation in the are galleries. Furthermore, if people do not satisfied with a charge to go to musums while they should be paid for it, they will not be encouraged to see their cultural saciant works. Therefore, familiarization whit culture in societies will decline. In conclusion. advantage of charging in museum is more than demerit. Because if people do not pay for admission. Keep cultural inheritance will be hard.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
pay for visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. The merit of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
seems
rather
than a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
point. In the following essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points of charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
will
be argued
.

Preserving artworks with desirable quality would be the advantage of exhibitions charge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them needs financial support and a part of this protection can
be provided
from charging.
For instance
, repairing artworks or art galleries staff incomes that a segment in them
are provided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
paying.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, charge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
will be beneficial to take care of artworks or historical monuments.

The disadvantage of spending money as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in the exhibition would be decreasing observation in
Did you mean "they are" or "there are"?
the are
galleries.
Furthermore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not satisfied with a charge to go to
Possible spelling mistake found.
musums
while they should
be paid
for it, they will not
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their cultural
Possible spelling mistake found.
saciant
works.
Therefore
, familiarization whit culture in societies will decline.

In conclusion
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
advantage
of charging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is more than demerit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Keep
cultural inheritance will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
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IELTS essay Museums charge for admission. So the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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