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Museums and historical locations are visited by tourists rather than local people in many countries. What are the causes of this? How could the situation be improved?

Museums and historical locations are visited by tourists rather than local people in many countries. What are the causes of this? How could the situation be improved? BwWJX
In recent years an attention to the museums and ancient fields are dropped sharply by locals, instead this many tourists are attracted to these places. There are some practical measures to tackle this problem wholly. In the upcoming paragraph main factors and options are explained. There are several stimulants of a problem that local people are less-active in visiting traditional places and museums than foreigners. The first considerable cause is that native people have visited museums already so that they do not want to see these again. Furthermore, in many cities museums and ancient sites are requiring payment in high cost from locals. Hence, they neither waste time a lot to see nor spend extra money at all. Even though the cost of entering the museums and traditional monuments are decreased deeply, people do not prefer to visit. For instance, every year more than 15 million tourists visited the Eiffel Tower whilst about less than 4 million by locals. In the same way, every difficulty has its own solution. Thus this problem can be dealt with viable measurements. To begin with, museums have been already not fascinating for native citizens because there is almost no activity which attracts locals. To improve the value of traditional areas, the government should investigate new things just like entertaining areas or else new gadgets are made that inform about historical goods. Besides, if there are more antique goods not only belonged to the history but also handcrafted in museums, local citizens are more interested in visiting. In conclusion, museums and historical areas might be not absorbing activity because they are much more familiar with locals. To develop this situation the government should add attractive things and should implement discaunts for citizens
In recent years an attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and ancient fields
are dropped
sharply
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
,
instead
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists
are attracted
to these places. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical measures to tackle this problem wholly. In the upcoming paragraph main factors and options are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
. There are several stimulants of a problem that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are less-active in visiting traditional places and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
than foreigners. The
first
considerable cause is that native
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have visited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
already
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these again.
Furthermore
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and ancient sites are requiring payment in high cost from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
.
Hence
, they neither waste time a lot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
nor spend extra money at all.
Even though
the cost of entering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and traditional monuments
are decreased
deeply
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not prefer to visit.
For instance
, every year more than 15 million tourists visited the Eiffel Tower whilst about less than 4 million by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
.
In the same way
, every difficulty has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
solution.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
this problem can
be dealt
with viable measurements. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have been already not fascinating for native citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is almost no activity which attracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the value of traditional areas, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should investigate new things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like entertaining areas or else new gadgets
are made
that inform about historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Besides
, if there are more antique
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
belonged to the history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
handcrafted in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizens are more interested in visiting.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and historical areas might be not absorbing activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are much more familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
. To develop this situation the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
attractive things and should implement
Possible spelling mistake found.
discaunts
for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
citizens
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IELTS essay Museums and historical locations are visited by tourists rather than local people in many countries. What are the causes of this? How could the situation be improved?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
286 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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