Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Multicultural societies bring more benefit to the country than drawbacks, discuss.

Multicultural societies bring more benefit to the country than drawbacks, discuss. qV1Xw
Nowadays the world is multicultural, theres no place where you go or be that will not have someone from another country. This is something that is growing over the years because of technology, flights are more accessibles and the mindset of the people has changed. Back to 70s or 60s the world population did not could imagine about travel to another country in another continent, at least the board of country that was near where you live, as from Brazil to Argentina that is theorically close. With this big change from the last 40 years, the people has more chance to go to other countries and start a new life however keep their culture and sharing whatever they live. The biggest benefit in a multicultural society is the chance to learn with another cultures, I'm a big example of that, since I came to Australia I lived with so many persons and different nationatilies that this changed my lifestyle and my lifes vision. Is almost impossible to say that the multicultural society is not the future as the world is becoming a total diversity enviroment.
Nowadays the world is multicultural,
Possible spelling mistake found
theres
no place where you go or be that will not have someone from another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This is something
that is
growing over the years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technology, flights are more
Possible spelling mistake found.
accessibles
and the mindset of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.

Back to 70s or 60s the world population did not
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
could
imagine about travel to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in another continent, at least the board of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that was near where you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, as from Brazil to Argentina
that is
Possible spelling mistake found.
theorically
close.

With this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from the last 40 years, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
more chance to go to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a new life
however
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their culture and sharing whatever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

The biggest benefit in a multicultural society is the chance to learn with another cultures, I'm a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
example of that, since I came to Australia I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
persons and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
nationatilies
that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my lifestyle and my
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
vision.

Is almost impossible to say that the multicultural society is not the future as the world is becoming a total diversity
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Multicultural societies bring more benefit to the country than drawbacks, discuss.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
185 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Multicultural societies bring more benefit to the country than drawbacks, discuss.