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Many researches show that overeating can have negative effects and people believe that advertising of certain foods should be banned, in the same way that some countries banned advertising of cigarettes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many researches show that overeating can have negative effects and people believe that advertising of certain foods should be banned, in the same way that some countries banned advertising of cigarettes. with this statement? l7Oew
Many investigations show that excessive consumption of special food would have a lot of drawbacks for people, thus, like some nations have to inhibit advertising of them. I completely, agree with this statement and I will give my reasons below. To begin with, advertising has a vital role in attracting people to do something also people always see a lot of advertisements around themselves as well as they unconsciously want to try them without thinking about their consequence, for example, some individuals who have a disease such as heart attack or obesity do not eat some foods and their doctor inhibited them to eating them but some advertisements are very attractive and tempt them to try it, as a result, they would jeopardize their health and would have many problems, thus, this kind of advertisement should be banned. Moreover, many countries inhibited some advertisements that are very dangerous for people such as cigarettes this trend is beneficial for individual special youth because they are vulnerable and want to try new things and these advertisement impact on their life and has a bad consequence for them. base on the statistical community most young people are affected by advertisements and follow them that it could have many disadvantages for them, thus, the government should monitor this situation and allocate some restrict rules to prevent them such as high tax for them. In conclusion, some advertising is not beneficial for people and inhibited them has many benefits for people because consume them has many drawbacks for individuals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
investigations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that excessive consumption of special food would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
drawbacks for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
thus
, like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
inhibit advertising of them. I completely,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I will give my reasons below.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, advertising has a vital role in attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do something
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
around themselves
as well
as they
unconsciously
want to try them without thinking about their consequence,
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals who have a disease such as heart attack or obesity do not eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
foods and their doctor inhibited them to eating them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
attractive and tempt them to try it,
as a result
, they would jeopardize their health and would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems,
thus
, this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
should
be banned
.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries inhibited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as cigarettes this trend is beneficial for individual special youth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are vulnerable and want to try new things and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
impact on their life and has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequence for them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
base
on the statistical community most young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
and follow them that it could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages for them,
thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should monitor this situation and allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them such as high tax for them.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advertising is not beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and inhibited them has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
consume them has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks for individuals.
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IELTS essay Many researches show that overeating can have negative effects and people believe that advertising of certain foods should be banned, in the same way that some countries banned advertising of cigarettes. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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