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Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals jDGGd
It is argued that these days, the majority of people tend to enjoy themselves at the time of festival in lieu of grasping the true definition of traditional or religious festivals. While I agree that enjoyment seems to be the priority during the festival times, I do not agree with the statement that people have forgotten what these festivals’ means for the reasons provided below. First and foremost, it is obvious that all the traditional or spiritual festivals are occasions for us to celebrate. For example, in Vietnam and other countries as well, people tend to be crowded in the street whenever Christmas and New Year comes to go shopping in order to decorate their homes and give lovely presents to the one they love. Eventually, those things gradually become traditional in our life. Another point I would like to make is that these festivals are eager to be a precious holiday period for people who stay away from their homes to have a gathering more than a time to do religious activities. That is the reason why we usually see that the street on those occasions is always full of people spending time together with family members. Admittedly, I totally disagree with the idea that the true meaning of festivals are ignored. As you might know, since we were just little kids, all the reasons for celebrating Christmas and a variety of events in other religions have been taught in the curriculum. Children knowing and singing Christmas songs or even playing telling the story of Jesus' birth would be a prime example. Furthermore, these meanings are deeply rooted in our culture and passed down to the following generation in every family. Therefore, people always bear in mind the meanings of those events from being a kid to an adult. In conclusion, because of the aforementioned reasons, I totally disagree with the statement that traditional or spiritual festivals’ definition is forgotten by most people who just want to enjoy themselves throughout the festival period.
It
is argued
that these days, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to enjoy themselves at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
in lieu of grasping the true definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
or religious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that enjoyment seems to be the priority during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have forgotten what these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals’
means for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
provided below.

First
and foremost, it is obvious that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
or spiritual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
are occasions for us to celebrate.
For example
, in Vietnam and other countries
as well
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
be crowded
in the street whenever Christmas and New Year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to go shopping in order to decorate their homes and give lovely presents to the one they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
Eventually
, those things
gradually
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
in our life. Another point I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
are eager to be a precious holiday period for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who stay away from their homes to have a gathering more than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do religious activities.
That is
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why we
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the street on those occasions is always full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together with family members.

Admittedly
, I
totally
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the true meaning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. As you might know, since we were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
kids, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for celebrating Christmas and a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in other religions have
been taught
in the curriculum. Children knowing and singing Christmas songs or even
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "going telling".
playing telling
the story of Jesus' birth would be a prime example.
Furthermore
, these meanings are

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
deeply
rooted in our culture and passed down to the following generation in every family.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always bear in mind the meanings of those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
from being a kid to an adult.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, I
totally
disagree with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
or spiritual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals’
definition
is forgotten
by most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to enjoy themselves throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
period.
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IELTS essay Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
334 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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