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Most high level jobs are done by men. Should the government encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? Write a passage about • 150-200 words to justify your answer.

Most high level jobs are done by men. Should the government encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? Write a passage about • 150-200 words to justify your answer. 2Pe9M
Nowadays, it is indisputable that women have proven that they are talented and also have the ability to do everything that men can do in various fields; however, a large percentage of main jobs in our society is carried out by men. From my perspective, I totally agree that our government ought to give women more chances to promote their career. Firstly, it is easily found that fields that are dominated by men in the past like economy, astronomy, … are capable to handle by women these days. Moreover, with the development and equality of our society, females are no longer in charge of taking care children and staying home, making meals for their husbands all day. They are able to spend the same time working as men with the same progress. Studies have also shown that more than two-thirds of single women all around the world are labors of plenty kind of jobs. Finally, I believe that women deserve to be employed in more high-level jobs if they are comprehensive enough for those jobs.
Nowadays, it is indisputable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have proven that they
are talented
and
also
have the ability to do everything that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
can do in various fields;
however
, a large percentage of main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in our society
is carried
out by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. From my perspective, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
more chances to promote their career.
Firstly
, it is
easily
found that fields that
are dominated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in the past like economy, astronomy, … are capable to handle by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
these days.
Moreover
, with the development and equality of our society, females are no longer in charge of taking care children and staying home, making meals for their husbands all day. They are able to spend the same time working as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
with the same progress. Studies have
also
shown that more than two-thirds of single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
all around the world are labors of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Finally
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
deserve to
be employed
in more high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
if they are comprehensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
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IELTS essay Most high level jobs are done by men. Should the government encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? Write a passage about • 150-200 words to justify your answer.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
175 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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