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most government think that economic progress is their most important goal

most government think that economic progress is their most important goal NMMKd
The progress of a nation is often measured by economic growth, therefore many governments focus more on their economic progress rather than other aspects. However, some people, including me, have a contrasting view as they believe that political stability, security, social condition and education are equally important for the advancement of a nation. On the one hand, many governments pay more attention to economic development than other aspects of life as they believe that economic growth plays an important role in the development of a nation. When a country's economy develops, it ensures business ventures, new job opportunities and the government can collect more funds through taxes. This fund could be used for the improvement of other sectors such as education, public infrastructures and military services. On the other hand, even though economic growth plays an essential part, governments must ensure a better living standard and a green environment. The economic condition of a country will not grow without the support of a secure social condition, better political condition and advanced educational system. Investors will not place their investment in countries that have an insecure political condition such as Afganistan or Iraq. And then, without the existence of educated and skilled workers, it will be difficult for a country to improve their industrial and trade activities. Therefore, the growth of the economic sectors should be aligned with other important sectors. In conclusion, it is undeniable that economic growth plays an important role in the development of a nation. However, I personally believe that besides economic progress, better education, social welfare, security and political stability are equally important for the sustainable development of a nation.
The progress of a
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nation
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
measured by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
,
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
focus more on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, including me, have a contrasting view as they believe that political stability, security, social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
and education are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the advancement of a nation.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
pay more attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects of life as they believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
plays an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. When a country's economy develops, it ensures business ventures, new job opportunities and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can collect more funds through taxes. This fund could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sectors such as education, public infrastructures and military services.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
plays an essential part,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure a better living standard and a green environment. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
of a country will not grow without the support of a secure social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
, better political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
and advanced educational system. Investors will not place their investment in countries that have an insecure political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Afganistan
or Iraq. And then, without the existence of educated and skilled workers, it will be difficult for a country to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their industrial and trade activities.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
sectors should
be aligned
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
sectors.

In conclusion
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
plays an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
However
, I
personally
believe that
besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress, better education, social welfare, security and political stability are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
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IELTS essay most government think that economic progress is their most important goal

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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