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More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this?

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this? 6xL5K
A large numbers of wild animals are on the edge of extinction and remaining are comes on the endangered species list. This essay will discuss the reason for this issue as increament in poaching activities and consumerisum has risen, also provide viable solutions to tackle this problems. There are two primary causes of decrease numbers of wild animals in a country. Firstly, the poaching and illegal huntings are becoming famous, because there are no law and regulations against it. Many people hunt the animals as a part of business activities. Secondly, In the global market a wide variety of products are manufactured by the skin of animals. For example, a renowed clothing brand from china produces many female clothes that are based on animals body. So, the poaching as well as consumerisum are main reason for the extinction of wild animals. There two solutions also available to curb the animals from the extinction. The first solution is authority of animal ought to make a strict policy against hunting activity. For instance, last year Africa government impliment a rule to save wild animals that 10 years of sentences, due to this illegal killing of animals have decreased. Second solution is provide the awareness program among the various culture and societies and motivate them to buy an item that made of no skin of animals. This can be done by youtube channel or write an article on the newspaper. In short, the solutions are new laws for protection and a awareness campaign can be done to eliminate these problems. In conclusion, many wild animals are at final position of extinction and others on the endangered list. This essay discussed the illegal hunting and consumer products are principle reasons of this problem, but solution available such as a good government policy and education campaign can aid to regulate this issue.
A large
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "number"?
numbers
of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are on the edge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
and remaining are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
on the endangered species list. This essay will discuss the reason for this issue as
Possible spelling mistake found.
increament
in poaching activities and
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumerisum
has risen,
also
provide viable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to tackle
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems.

There are two primary causes of decrease numbers of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in a country.
Firstly
, the poaching and illegal
Possible spelling mistake found.
huntings
are becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are no law and regulations against it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hunt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as a part of business activities.
Secondly
, In the global market a wide variety of products
are manufactured
by the skin of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
For example
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
renowed
clothing brand from
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
produces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
female clothes that
are based
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
body.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the poaching
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumerisum
are main reason for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of wild animals.

There two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
also
available to curb the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is authority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a strict policy against hunting activity.
For instance
, last year Africa
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
impliment
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
to save wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that 10 years of sentences, due to this illegal killing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have decreased. Second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is
Consider using a past participle here: "provided".
provide
the awareness program among the various culture and societies and motivate them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an item that made of no skin of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This can
be done
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
channel or write an article on the newspaper. In short, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
are new laws for protection and
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
awareness campaign can
be done
to eliminate these problems.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are at final position of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
on the endangered list. This essay discussed the illegal hunting and consumer products are
Did you mean "principal" (=main)?
principle
reasons of this problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
available such as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
policy and education campaign can aid to regulate this issue.
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IELTS essay More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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