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With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? xmOwQ
Nowadays, many individuals stay in an accommodation where there is almost no outdoor area, this is due to an increasing number of people in urban areas. In my opinion, this is a negative development for several reasons. I will further elaborate on my views in this essay with relevant examples. More and more people are shifting to cities due to industrialization development and job opportunities. On the one hand, living in a small home may lead to various health problems. Firstly, a person might face claustrophobia because of not having enough space and fresh air within the house to breathe. Secondly, an individual might go into depression due to no outdoor activities. Some will get lazy if they stay in this sort of living atmosphere and will face obesity because of a sedentary lifestyle. For example, during the lockdown of the COVID-19 pandemic, many people have been facing different types of health issues in this period. On the other hand, people will miss out on the opportunity of being connected to nature. Moreover, Children’s will not get the chance to grow trees or play within the outdoor area. They won't be attached to the environment. Besides this, people will lose out on good times like barbeque parties, reading books, work-out or taking a break to see beautiful scenery. However, the environment affects both kinds, mental and physical. For instance, to have a positive mindset a person should feel positive from both inside and outside of circumstances. In conclusion, owning an outdoor space would benefit in the long run to stay healthy. They should do meditation, yoga or exercise on regular basis to be healthy and motivated.
Nowadays,
many
individuals stay in an accommodation where there is almost no
outdoor
area, this is due to an increasing number of
people
in urban areas. In my opinion, this is a
negative
development for several reasons. I will
further
elaborate on my views in this essay with relevant examples.

More and more
people
are shifting to cities due to industrialization development and job opportunities. On the one hand, living in a
small
home may lead to various health problems.
Firstly
, a person might face claustrophobia
because
of not having
enough
space and fresh air within the
house
to breathe.
Secondly
, an individual might go into depression due to no
outdoor
activities.
Some
will
get
lazy if they stay in this sort of living atmosphere and will face obesity
because
of a sedentary lifestyle.
For example
, during the lockdown of the COVID-19 pandemic,
many
people
have been facing
different
types of health issues in this period.

On the other hand
,
people
will miss out on the opportunity of
being connected
to nature.
Moreover
, Children’s will not
get
the chance to grow trees or play within the
outdoor
area. They won't
be attached
to the environment.
Besides
this,
people
will lose out on
good
times like
barbeque
parties, reading books, work-out or taking a break to
see
beautiful
scenery.
However
, the environment affects both kinds, mental and physical.
For instance
, to have a
positive
mindset a person should feel
positive
from both inside and outside of circumstances.

In conclusion
, owning an
outdoor
space would benefit in the long run to stay healthy. They should do meditation, yoga or exercise on regular basis to be healthy and motivated.
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IELTS essay With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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