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More and more people want to buy famous brands such as clothes, cars , shoes and so on. What is it cause? Is it positive or negative development for world?

More and more people want to buy famous brands such as clothes, cars, shoes and so on. What is it cause? Is it positive or negative development for world? E39xL
Nowadays, a majority of humans running after money as they think that if they have lots of wealth than they can get all the things which make their lives convenient and comfortable. Due to these a vast amount of masses have great desire to purchase popular brands like clothing, cars, shoes etcetera as well the reason is that people believes in show off, maintain high status and peer pressure among young adults. However, it is a negative establishment for world because it’s wastage of money and people going into debit situations. There are multifarious factors of this prospective that why people want to buy famous brands and the main is that a huge group of societies have great faith in show off as well as maintaining high standard so that is the reason they deems that if they purchase branded things than it helps them to show other masses how they become rich and these assist them to rise their higher status among communities. Even though, it is common said that branded things are sign of humans wealthier. In addition to this, it is modern phenomena that it’s mandatory for societies that not only provide VIP treatments to the wealthy persons but also offer them huge respect as well so that is why masses want to buy branded goods. Furthermore, the another concerning areas is peer pressure among adults because youngsters have often influence to see their age mates cloths, style as well as standard so that is why they negligible their economic conditions and tries to purchase those items to compete with others. For example, in India, in Delhi a survey conducted by media reported that three quarter people given priority to buy famous brands to maintain their standard in society. Nevertheless, it is a negative development for the whole globe because it has uncountable disadvantages and the first is that it is a wastage of money as a majority of humans expand each penny of their income to purchase these branded items after that they have not remained any wealth for their future savings. On the other hand, it is often said that saving is insurances for future but humans neglect this perception. Moreover, sometimes humans spend their savings also on these goods. Due to these, they take a big loans to satisfied their status and they have no idea after this what can they do? Similarly, humans have blind after increasing their standard so few times they lose their mental power which perilous for them. Apart from this, a few people are not able to return the debit so that is why they committee suicide. For instance, in Punjab in a little village Bhambuan a body of one person name Dharmpal Singh found hanging on tree by police after the inquiry police told that it was suicide because Dharmpal unable to return loans which he took for purchasing a Verna car. In conclusion, although branded things are helpful for humans to rise their status symbols but some extent but if humans utilise vast amount of wealth to buy it continues than it is detrimental for their pockets as well as savings.
Nowadays, a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
running after money as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if they have lots of wealth than they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the things which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
convenient and comfortable. Due to these a vast amount of masses
Possible agreement error
have
great desire to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
popular brands like clothing, cars, shoes etcetera as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
the reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off, maintain high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
and peer pressure among young adults.
However
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
establishment for world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s wastage of money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going into debit situations.

There are multifarious factors of this prospective that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
brands and the main is that a huge group of societies
Possible agreement error
have
great faith in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as maintaining high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
the reason they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "deem"
deems
that if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
branded
things than it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
other masses how they become rich and these assist them to rise their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
among communities.
Even though
, it is common said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
branded
things are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
wealthier.
In addition
to this, it is modern phenomena that it’s mandatory for societies that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide VIP treatments to the wealthy persons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
offer them huge respect as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
why masses want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
branded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Furthermore
, the another concerning areas is peer pressure among adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
youngsters have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "influenced".
influence
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their age mates cloths, style as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
why they negligible their economic conditions and tries to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
those items to compete with others.
For example
, in India, in Delhi a survey conducted by media reported that
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
three quarter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
brands to maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
in society.

Nevertheless
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development for the whole globe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has uncountable disadvantages and the
first
is that it is a wastage of money as a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
expand each penny of their income to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
branded
items after that they have not remained any wealth for their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
.
On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
is insurances for future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
neglect this perception.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
also
on these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. Due to these, they take a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
loans to satisfied their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
status and
they have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
after this what can they do?
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have blind after increasing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
few times they lose their mental power which perilous for them. Apart from this, a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to return the debit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
why
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they committee
suicide.
For instance
, in Punjab in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
village
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bhambuan
a body of one person name
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dharmpal
Singh found hanging on tree by police after the inquiry police
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that it was suicide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dharmpal
unable to return loans which he took for purchasing a Verna car.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
branded
things are helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to rise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
symbols
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
vast amount of wealth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it continues than it is detrimental for their pockets as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
.
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IELTS essay More and more people want to buy famous brands such as clothes, cars, shoes and so on. What is it cause? Is it positive or negative development for world?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
524 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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