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More and more people leaving the countries and live in cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the environment.

More and more people leaving the countries and live in cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the environment. plNd
Nowadays, the population levels is increasing day by day. However most of the individuals are move to cities from rural areas. This essay will discuss the merits and demerits of living in cities and also the effect of environment. To begin with, there are many benefits to living in cities. First of all, people leaving their rural areas as there is no any good educational institutes where they can study and they are move to cities so that they can get good education which is important for their future career. Secondly, in the country side areas there is no any good job opportunities for youngsters and they are choose to live in cities so that they can get good job for earning, and they can support to their parents. Hence, everyone can live a comfortable life in cities. Furthermore, there are some drawbacks of leaving their birth places. Firstly, when youngsters are moving to cities then they may be forget their tradition culture which is detrimental for the cultural roots. Secondly, when more and more people are moving to cities then the traffic jams will be increase. As a consequence, the number of vehicles will create more pollution which is effected to the environment and also individuals face more health problems. To conclude, the government should provide more facilities in every corner of the world so that everyone can do work and study in their own nations.
Nowadays, the population levels is increasing day by day.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
most of the individuals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
from rural areas. This essay will discuss the merits and demerits of living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
also
the effect of environment. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
leaving their rural areas as there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
educational institutes where they can
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
study and
they are
Consider using a past participle here: "moved".
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
education which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for their future career.
Secondly
, in the country side areas there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job opportunities for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
youngsters and
they are
Consider using a past participle here: "chosen".
choose
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job for earning, and they can support to their parents.
Hence
, everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a comfortable life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of leaving their birth places.
Firstly
, when youngsters are moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
then they
Did you mean "maybe" (= perhaps)?
may be
Consider using the past participle "forgotten"?
forget
their tradition culture which is detrimental for the cultural roots.
Secondly
, when more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
then the traffic jams will be increase. As a consequence, the number of vehicles will create more pollution which
is effected
to the environment and
also
individuals face more health problems.
To conclude
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide more facilities in every corner of the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that everyone can do work and study in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nations.
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IELTS essay More and more people leaving the countries and live in cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the environment.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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