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children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life then children brought up by wealthy parents.to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life then children brought up by wealthy parents. with this opinion? yl6D
The economic situation of a family plays pivotal role in the upbringing of a children. It is true, the children who gets less favoured in terms of facilities and benefits will certainly have good value for everything when he becomes adult. I agree that young people who are grown up in underprivileged family can easily tackle their problems than those who were brought up in prominent family. First of all, a child grown up in a poor family may not have those required facilities which are essential for their upbringing. Eventually, they learn how to adjust in the environment to live. More importantly, they becomes very independent and can do a lot of things in their own. They acknowledge the value of money as they will have to live with their minimum balance. Due to this, they can easily overcome the economic challenges and can do anything in their future. Secondly, a child born with a silver spoon in his mouth get every opportunities, facilities and can experience a lot of things from childhood. As they depends more on their parents he or she will eventually become dependent person. They don't care about money, they only care about what they have and they will face problems if they don't stand in the own. But some parents really manage their children who are born rich don't always face trouble in future. As long as they gets proper guidance they can handle any problems in the future. To sum up, I strongly agree that if a child is born in a poor family then here c can do a lot of things in their own from their early age then the children brought up in well of family background.
The economic situation of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
plays pivotal role in the upbringing of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is true, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "get"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'children' should be used.
gets
less
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
in terms of facilities and benefits will
certainly
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
value for everything when he becomes adult. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are grown
up in underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can
easily
tackle their problems than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were brought
up in prominent family.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a child grown up in a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
may not have those required facilities which are essential for their upbringing.
Eventually
, they learn how to adjust in the environment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. More
importantly
, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "become"
becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
independent and can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. They acknowledge the value of money as they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their minimum balance. Due to this, they can
easily
overcome the economic challenges and can do anything in their future.

Secondly
, a child born with a silver spoon in his mouth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "opportunity"?
opportunities
, facilities and can experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things from childhood. As they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "depend"
depends
more on their parents he or she will
eventually
become dependent person. They don't care about money, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
care about what they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
have and
they will face problems if they don't stand in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents
really
manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are born
rich don't always face trouble
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
long as they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "get"
gets
proper guidance they can handle any problems in the future.

To sum up, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that if a child
is born
in a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
then here c can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
from their early age then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
brought up in well of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
background.
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IELTS essay children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life then children brought up by wealthy parents. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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