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More and more people globally use spoken and written English language. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

More and more people globally use spoken and written English language. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages? V106
Using spoken and written English language is done by dominating people in the world. This leads to obtain abroad relatives, and also they can show the own cultures to the world. Obtaining other relationships in the world can be seen to speak and write English language, leading to get high recommendation. Nonetheless, those will give impact to forget mother language, but this can tackle to mix English languange with daily language, resulting to improve knowledge of that languange. According to the CNN news, 75% of graduated students in Indonesia learn English to get LoA for their scholarships, getting recommendation from their lecturers in the purpose countries for those scholarships. They have to write essay and communicate with the lecturers using English language, and usually they learn with improving in their society. If this continuously runs, they can sustain their dreams. Granted, showing own cultures to the globally is talked to use English language, leading to introduce his country in order to be more famous than before. However, a plethora people is more likely finding difficulties to learn English, while learning in various platforms is one of the way to make people want to learn that language, effecting other people influence to use it. For example, 80% Indonesian young people learn English through the YouTube platform, and they find that easy and comfortable to learn because of the many pictures or podcasts available in various languages, and some of them introduce Indonesian culture such as Balinese dances in various cultural events abroad. In conclusion, speaking and writing English language tend to people gain other relationships in the world, and those can help to introduce own cultures. Whereas possible, this will help young people to do more work in internationally.
Using spoken and written English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is done
by dominating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world. This leads to obtain abroad relatives, and
also
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
to the world.

Obtaining other relationships in the world can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to speak and write English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, leading to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high recommendation. Nonetheless, those will give impact to forget mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this can tackle to mix English
Possible spelling mistake found.
languange
with daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, resulting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
knowledge of that
Possible spelling mistake found.
languange
. According to the CNN news, 75% of graduated students in Indonesia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
English to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
LoA
for their scholarships, getting recommendation from their lecturers in the purpose countries for those scholarships. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
write essay and communicate with the lecturers using English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, and
usually
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
with improving in their society. If this
continuously
runs, they can sustain their dreams.

Granted, showing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
to the globally
is talked
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, leading to introduce his country in order to be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
However
, a plethora
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
more likely finding difficulties to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
English, while learning in various platforms is one of the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, effecting other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
influence to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.
For example
, 80% Indonesian young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
English through the YouTube platform, and they find that easy and comfortable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pictures or podcasts available in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them introduce Indonesian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
such as Balinese dances in various cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
abroad.

In conclusion
, speaking and writing English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain other relationships in the world, and
Did you mean "this can" or "those cans"?
those can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to introduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. Whereas possible, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do more work in
internationally
.

IELTS essay More and more people globally use spoken and written English language. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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