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More and more people claim that modern work patterns are a source of stress. What do you think are the cause of this? Can you suggest some possible solution?

More and more people claim that modern work patterns are a source of stress. What do you think are the cause of this? Can you suggest some possible solution? 21kJ
People have to work to make money for providing themselves with things they need. Every day number of people who believe that current job conditions are reasoning of stress. This essay will introduce with causes which may be toxic environment and overworking and possible solutions to these problems. Today, many people attempt to accomplish their assignment on time. As the result, in most situations they have to stay in office to finish the job. Unfortunately, this practice has negative effects on employee’s health. They become nonproductive and start to get tired quickly, what will again force them to remain at work. For instance, in Japan a few years ago, experts came to the conclusion that main source of stress for the majority of workers is overworking what can bring to suicide in some cases. The government had moved to tough measures, according to which workers must leave office in 4 pm while companies should reduce the amount of work. Another equally important reason of stress may be toxic relationships among co-workers. For example, some people from one company had a rocky start or entered into conflict. Consequently, they and other workers will also be uncomfortable and feel added stress. To avoid such a possible scenario, mangers should make efforts to establish relationships between people. This can be done by holding more meeting outside work place or try to come to compromises. In conclusion, the right attitude to work and mutual understanding among colleagues and directors is the best solution for not being under tension in the workplace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money for providing themselves with things they need. Every day number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
job conditions are reasoning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. This essay will introduce with causes which may be toxic environment and overworking and possible solutions to these problems.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attempt to accomplish their assignment on time. As the result, in most situations they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay in office to finish the job. Unfortunately, this practice has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on employee’s health. They become nonproductive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired
quickly
, what will again force them to remain at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For instance
, in Japan a few years ago, experts came to the conclusion that main source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
for the majority of workers is overworking what can bring to suicide in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to tough measures, according to which workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
office in 4 pm while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of work.

Another
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
may be toxic relationships among co-workers.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
had a rocky
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
or entered into conflict.
Consequently
, they and other workers will
also
be uncomfortable and feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. To avoid such a possible scenario, mangers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts to establish relationships between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This can
be done
by holding more meeting outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place or try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to compromises.

In conclusion
, the right attitude to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and mutual understanding among colleagues and directors is the best solution for not being under tension in the workplace
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IELTS essay More and more people claim that modern work patterns are a source of stress. What do you think are the cause of this? Can you suggest some possible solution?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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