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More and more people are working from home rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers nad their families, but other think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

More and more people are working from home rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers nad their families, but other think it will bring stress to the home. JnPw
Work from home has become popular among many corporate culture. Few people consider this as positive approach, whereas, other argue that this will bring stress at home. In my opinion, this has more positive side than in negative side, which both will be discuss in following paragraphs. To begin with, working from house will save the travelling time. It has observed that, majority of times employees get late to office due to traffic which affect their work. Despite that, this will also increase stress and weakness in workers healths. On the contrary, working from home save those travelling time and they able to work more actively. For example, In a recent survey companies who provide facilities to work from thier home has more productivity than who follow working form office. Therefore, In my view, this approach create balance between work and families because they can spend enormous time with family by droping their children to school or helping wife at home, which they usually spend of travelling. On the downside, sometime employees feel isolated because regularly setting infornt of laptop without physical interaction with colleagues. To put this simply, In office they can interact with colleagues and apart from that, organisation also take care of employment mental health by providing team outing, annual event, parties which balance worklife. Moreover, If they face any problem they can consult to concern person immediately, whereas, at home they has to wait for availability of concern person. In conclusion, working from home given advantage to people to work from their comfort zone. In my opinion, this concept has positive side that it's negative side.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
from home has become popular among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
corporate culture. Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider this as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
approach, whereas, other argue that this will bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
at home. In my opinion, this has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side than in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side, which both will be
Consider using the past participle "discussed"?
discuss
in following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
will save the travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It has observed that, majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
late to office due to traffic which affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Despite that, this will
also
increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and weakness in workers
Possible spelling mistake found.
healths
.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home save those travelling
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
Did you mean "they are" or "they were"?
they
able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
actively
.
For example
, In a recent survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
who provide facilities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
home has more productivity than who follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
form office.
Therefore
, In my view, this approach create balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can spend enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family by
Possible spelling mistake found.
droping
their children to school or helping wife at home, which they
usually
spend of travelling.

On the downside, sometime employees feel isolated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
regularly
setting
Possible spelling mistake found.
infornt
of laptop without physical interaction with colleagues. To put this
simply
, In office they can interact with colleagues and apart from that,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
also
take care of employment mental health by providing team outing, annual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
, parties which balance
Possible spelling mistake found.
worklife
.
Moreover
, If they face any problem they can consult to concern person immediately, whereas, at home they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "have", "haven"
has
to wait for availability of concern person.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
advantage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from their comfort zone. In my opinion, this concept has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side that it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side.
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IELTS essay More and more people are working from home rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers nad their families, but other think it will bring stress to the home.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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