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More and more people are using the Internet to do their tasks rather than doing in person. (e.g. banking, shopping, hotel booking etc. ). Do the advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantage

More and more people are using the Internet to do their tasks rather than doing in person. (e. g. banking, shopping, hotel booking etc. ). Do the advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantage ypDD
In this concurrent world, it is undoubtedly true that, the rise and adaption of technology is increasing significantly. The usage of internet is made the life of public easier, quicker and comfortable. I would argue that these are outweighed by the advantages. To commence with, there are myriad of benefits, firstly, online shopping enables consumers to get a service or a product from home. They no need to travel alone distance or wait in a long queue. It is save lots of time. Secondly, online online banking, ticket booking system, Paytm and online-sub ascriptions facilitate mass people to avoid traffic congstion. It is a to maintain a green environment. Thirdly, online shopping run the business 24×7 hours and without the need for any extra staff. For example, according to the survey of "Times of India" 70% of people like to prefer not only online shopping but also using on hotel booking and banking. That is why CO2 pollution also loss because people do not go outdoor for shopping so no more traffic problem it is very beneficial to environment. On the other hand, there are few drawbacks of online shopping First foremost, if people are using the all time on internet for shopping so they get wrong information and get defective peace sometimes. Last but not least, online banking identity theft and digital scams are more common. For exemplify, according to "BBC" news in the world there are so many complain for cheat and hacking their bank details. So government should be strong app security provided to people. Moreover, careless use of credit card or personal information is often invite hackers to harm someone. To conclude, it is true that, online shopping, banking and hotel booking is very useful and in the technical world most of humans prefer this. But, sometimes it is risk factor involved in transaction.
In this concurrent world, it is
undoubtedly
true that, the rise and adaption of technology is increasing
significantly
. The usage of internet
is made
the life of public easier, quicker and comfortable. I would argue that these
are outweighed
by the advantages. To commence with, there are myriad of benefits,
firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
enables consumers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a service or a product from home. They no need to travel alone distance or wait in a long queue. It is
The word "save" is a verb. Did you mean the adjective "safe"?
save
lots of time.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banking
, ticket booking system,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Paytm
and online-sub
Possible spelling mistake found.
ascriptions
facilitate mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to avoid traffic
Possible spelling mistake found.
congstion
. It is a to maintain a green environment.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
run the business 24×7 hours and without the need for any extra staff.
For example
, according to the survey of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Times of India
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to prefer not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
using on hotel booking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banking
.
That is
why CO2 pollution
also
loss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not go outdoor for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no more traffic problem it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial to environment.
On the other hand
, there are few drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
First
foremost, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using the
It appears that a hyphen is missing in the adjective "all-time"
all time
on internet for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
information and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
defective peace
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banking
identity theft and digital scams are more common. For exemplify, according to
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
BBC
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
news in the world there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
The usual collocation for "complain" is "about" not "for". Did you mean "complain about"?
complain for
cheat and hacking their bank
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be strong app security provided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, careless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of credit card or personal information is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
invite hackers to harm someone.
To conclude
, it is true that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banking
and hotel booking is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful and in the technical world
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the humans") or simply say "most humans".
most of humans
prefer this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
factor involved in transaction.
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IELTS essay More and more people are using the Internet to do their tasks rather than doing in person. (e. g. banking, shopping, hotel booking etc. ). Do the advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantage

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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