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more and more people are shifting to cities from country side do this have more advantages or disadvantages on environment.

more and more people are shifting to cities from country side do this have more advantages or disadvantages on environment. dmXo
The number of indivisuals migrate to urban areas from rural areas. in my perspective this notion has more and more adverse impact on eco-system which will be discussed in my furthur paragraphes. To begin with, there are numerous drawbacks on environment when people will shifting to cities. Initially urban areas face problem overpopulation. which leads to deterimantal impact on environment such as noise pollution. Because if more and more masses in cities, they will create noise at late night. For instance, a survey was conducted by WHO, which revealed that 80 percent noise pollution is higher in cities as compare to villages. As a result, people face many health problem such as lung cancer, problem related to hearing. furthermore, it leads to air pollution. Because if more people live in cities, they will use more transportation which leads to air pollution. in other words, indivisuals do deforestation for accommodation which is inhance the problem of air pollution. To cite with, which environment issue in coming infront of the public, deforestation paramount reason behinde this. Hence, most of the people live in pollution areas. It is concluded that, if masses are shifting to cities, they face overpopulation in urban areas which leads to deterimantal impact on our eco system such as air pollution and noise pollution.
The number of
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indivisuals
migrate to urban
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areas
from rural
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areas
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
my perspective this notion has more and more adverse impact on
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-system
which will
be discussed
in my
Possible spelling mistake found.
furthur
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "paragraphs", the plural form of the noun 'paragraph'?
paragraphes
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are numerous drawbacks on environment when
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people
will shifting to
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cities
.
Initially
urban
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areas
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
overpopulation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
leads to
Possible spelling mistake found.
deterimantal
impact on environment such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if more and more masses in
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cities
, they will create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
at late night.
For instance
, a survey
was conducted
by
Did you mean "whom"?
WHO
, which revealed that 80 percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is higher in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as compare to villages.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face
Possible agreement error. The noun health seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much health", "a good deal of health".
many health
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problem
such as lung cancer,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
related to hearing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, it leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if more
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more transportation which leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
other words,
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indivisuals
do deforestation for accommodation which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
inhance
the
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problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. To cite with, which environment issue in coming
Possible spelling mistake found.
infront
of the public, deforestation paramount reason
Possible spelling mistake found.
behinde
this.
Hence
, most of the
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. It
is concluded
that, if masses are shifting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, they face overpopulation in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which leads to
Possible spelling mistake found.
deterimantal
impact on our
This word is normally spelled as one.
eco system
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
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IELTS essay more and more people are shifting to cities from country side do this have more advantages or disadvantages on environment.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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