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Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional.

Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. nqAe
Sport continues to be controversial topic in the school curriculum, just as sport itself has become controversial industry in some respects. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I consider now. On the one hand, some people think that sport uses up time which could be better spent on their academic exam preparations. In addition, some childen are forced to take up not interested activities. So, they want to read more books or doing their assignments in order to play something with adolescents. On the other side, sport is crucial for staying healthy as well as remove energy, stay in a good shape. Moreover, youngestrs should pay attention to stay healthy and escape from obesity. When they go in for any kind of sport or activity, adolescents can easily get more knowledge as well as education because of fulling energy in their body. To sum up, sport should be compulsory for childen, adults because the positive effect mendal and physical development outweighs the negatives.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
continues to be controversial topic in the school curriculum,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
itself has become controversial industry in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
respects. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I consider
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
up time which could be better spent on their academic exam preparations.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
childen
are forced
to take up not interested activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they want to read more books or doing their assignments in order to play something with adolescents. On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is crucial for staying healthy
as well
as remove energy, stay in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape.
Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngestrs
should pay attention to stay healthy and escape from obesity. When they go in for any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
or activity, adolescents can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more knowledge
as well
as education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of fulling energy in their body. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
should be compulsory for
Possible spelling mistake found.
childen
, adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect
Possible spelling mistake found.
mendal
and physical development outweighs the negatives.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
165 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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