Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Modern music is one of the most important subjects facing us today

Modern music is one of the most important subjects facing us today WmnQD
Modern music is one of the most important subjects facing us today. However, because many people claim that it gives a negative impact to young generation through bad lyrics and beats. On the other hand, others believe the opposite which claim tackles that music have a good influence and impact either with creativity or relaxing. As far as I am concerned Personally, I would say that both sides have a validity, but I would lean towards the last one. First of all, it is well known that music has always a powerful impact either with helping people to stay calm or saving life from depression and pressure. Furthermore, it can be used as a cure for soul, for instance many doctors are using music as treatment for their patients. Also, for the young generation, Music is a fundamental key of seeing things differently because it is a significant aspect of identity and expressions of experiences, especially with the lyrics that reflect the modern reality. In contrast, we cannot neglected that there is a generation especially the old one that believe the modern music is more harmful and meaningless than the old one. Moreover, the song lyrics become more and more unsafe, due to some violence issues including the antisystem and so on which will result a disaster outcome for the community. they often deal with dangerous issues such as the violence the antisystem and so, which will impact the society. Weighting up both sides of the arguments, I believe that Music has remarkable outcome to all of the community as it aids us for numerous benefits, such as healing depression and pressure regardless what is being often said that has inappropriate advantages to the young adults. In conclusion, the new changes is always too difficult to accept, but we cannot stop it, especially with the good side of the new music because it is an important role in the society.
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subjects facing us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that it gives a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
to young generation through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
lyrics and beats.
On the other hand
, others believe the opposite which claim tackles that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
influence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
either with creativity or relaxing. As far as I
am concerned
Personally
, I would say that both sides have a validity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would lean towards the last one.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is well known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has always a powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
either with helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to stay calm or saving life from depression and pressure.
Furthermore
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a cure for soul,
for instance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doctors are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as treatment for their patients.

Also
, for the young generation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is a fundamental key of seeing things
differently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a significant aspect of identity and expressions of experiences,
especially
with the lyrics that reflect the modern reality.

In contrast
, we cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "neglect"
neglected
that there is a generation
especially
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one that believe the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is more harmful and meaningless than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one.
Moreover
, the song lyrics become more and more unsafe, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
violence issues including the
Possible spelling mistake found.
antisystem
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on which will result a disaster outcome for the community.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
issues such as the violence the
Possible spelling mistake found.
antisystem
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
the society.

Weighting up both sides of the arguments, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
has remarkable outcome to
Consider using "all the".
all of the
community as it aids us for numerous benefits, such as healing depression and pressure regardless what is being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that has inappropriate advantages to the young adults.

In conclusion
, the new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
is always too difficult to accept,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
it,
especially
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
side of the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the society.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Modern music is one of the most important subjects facing us today

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Modern music is one of the most important subjects facing us today