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modern electronic devices have become familiar and essential in our lives. And it is agreed that the development of technology has affected directly social relationships.

modern electronic devices have become familiar and essential in our lives. And it is agreed that the development of technology has affected directly social relationships. KVl13
Nowadays, modern electronic devices have become familiar and essential in our lives. And it is agreed that the development of technology has affected directly social relationships. Personally, I see it both negatively and positively. So, I will discuss both of my views. On the one hand, modern communication technology is benefitcial to relationships. First, electronic devices allow people to connect with one another regardless of geographical barriers. Modern technology provides more opportunities for people to develop business, access education and improve social life. In Vietnam, most people users electronic devices can connect and make friend with Americans to improve their English speaking skills. Second, state of the art technology easily find people who share them in touch with other people thanks to social network applications and site such as Facebook, Instagram. For example, students living away from home have regular contact with family and people can online forums or groups on Facebook can connect with people sharing the same appetite for fashion or food. On the other hand, I also believe that modern technology obviously a negative effects on people. First, people have no intention to hold face to face conversation, which pose a detrimental impact on people social life and makes people less to see each other. Second, modern communication technology makes people more willing to contact and more friends with the virtual world and deteriorate their communication skill. For example, students Vietnam Internet users prefer to make friends online via social Facebook and stay home all day instead of meeting in person In conclusion, in modern communication technology, there are two sides negative and positive. I believe that modern electronic devices are benefitcial to relationships, however, it seems to affect people.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
have become familiar and essential in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. And it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
relationships.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it both
negatively
and
positively
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I will discuss both of my views.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitcial
to relationships.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to connect with one another regardless of geographical barriers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provides more opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to develop business, access education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life. In Vietnam, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
users
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
can connect and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
friend with Americans to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Second,
Did you mean "state-of-the-art"?
state of the art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
easily
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who share them in touch with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
thanks
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network applications and site such as Facebook, Instagram.
For example
, students living away from home have regular contact with family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can online forums or groups on Facebook can connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
sharing the same appetite for fashion or food.

On the other hand
, I
also
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
obviously
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no intention to hold face to face conversation, which pose a detrimental impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
less to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
each other. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more willing to contact and more friends with the virtual world and deteriorate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
For example
, students Vietnam Internet users prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
friends online via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Facebook and stay home all day
instead
of meeting in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
person


In conclusion
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, there are two sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitcial
to relationships,
however
, it seems to affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay modern electronic devices have become familiar and essential in our lives. And it is agreed that the development of technology has affected directly social relationships.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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