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mobile phones have changed lifestyle forever, but not all the changes are for the best. Discuss the pros and cons of owning a mobile phone, and also give your opinion regarding its usefulness.

mobile phones have changed lifestyle forever, but not all the changes are for the best. Discuss the pros and cons of owning a mobile phone, and also give your opinion regarding its usefulness. 3Ygeb
Mobile phones have become an inseparable part of everyone's life. It has transformed the way people live, think and work. Now the issue is that whether it has changed lifestyle of people tremendously, whereas all changes have negatives as well as positives. It is a controversial and complicated debate, so before reaching any conclusion, I would like to discuss the merits and demerits of owning a mobile phone. On the positive side, owning a mobile has numerous advantages. First and foremost, world has become a global village and people are easily communicating with various people from all over the world with the help of mobile phones. Secondly, mobile phones are user-friendly as well as have variety of advanced features, people are earning from mobile phones and contributing to the society. Last but not the least, prices of mobile phones are different and depending on the tools and specific elements, mobile phone industry is vastly contributing financially to the country. On the negative side, buying a mobile phone has serious disadvantages. There is no doubt that mobile phones are really useful, but it has increased crime dramatically. The personal and specific information of users are not safe and secure due to hacking. Cyber crime is escalating rapidly day by day. Apart from this, people may have to face many health problems such as weak eyesight and backache in any age. To wind up the discussion, I would say that using a mobile phone in a constructive way has tremendous benefits. Advantages of owning a mobile phone outweigh the disadvantages. According to my perspective, everything has its own pros and cons, but awareness is a factor that helps to overcome negatives.
Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have become an inseparable part of everyone's life. It has transformed the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and work.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
the issue is that whether it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tremendously
, whereas all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have negatives
as well
as positives. It is a controversial and complicated debate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching any conclusion, I would like to discuss the merits and demerits of owning a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, owning a mobile has numerous advantages.
First
and foremost, world has become a global village and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
easily
communicating with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the world with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
Secondly
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are user-friendly
as well
as have variety of advanced features,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are earning from mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and contributing to the society. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, prices of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and depending on the tools and specific elements, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
industry is
vastly
contributing
financially
to the country. On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side, buying a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has serious disadvantages. There is no doubt that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
really
useful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has increased crime
dramatically
. The personal and specific information of users are not safe and secure due to hacking. Cyber crime is escalating
rapidly
day by day. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems such as weak eyesight and backache in any age. To wind up the discussion, I would say that using a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
Consider replacing "in a constructive way" with the adverb for "constructive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a constructive way
has tremendous benefits. Advantages of owning a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
outweigh the disadvantages. According to my perspective, everything has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
awareness is a factor that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to overcome negatives.
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IELTS essay mobile phones have changed lifestyle forever, but not all the changes are for the best. Discuss the pros and cons of owning a mobile phone, and also give your opinion regarding its usefulness.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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