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games and sports should be made compulsory in school

games and sports should be made compulsory in school 1nmWN
In today's techno-savvy and advanced one might overlook the necessity of physical development and strength of a school-going kid. One might also have a mindset that games and sports don't provide enough learning books and academics can. Well, I'll need you to stop right there and ponder over it again. . . I've encountered many teens who are rudderless in choosing their field of interest and sports was a rescue for them as the rabbit was for animals in the jungle who were prey to the lion in the old fable. The perception of sports being 'inefficient' or 'unnecessary' are flawed facades. Sports can teach you more than books can. To clear the air by games and sports, I don't mean video games even though it has the word game in it. Let's get to the core and understand, Schools and colleges are merely meant for preparing kids to think and be decisive apart from academic learning whilst an actual sport like basketball or chess can nourish them with their need for spontaneity they require in life. Being academically strong and not physically is being the mind without power which is quite an irony since power is correlated with the mind. This is an appeal to all the schools who overlook games and sports as a waste of time and don't encompass any of these elements in their children to understand the need for sports and games. The best way can be to make games and sports compulsory in schools for children. Thank You
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's techno-savvy and advanced one might overlook the necessity of physical development and strength of a school-going kid. One might
also
have a mindset that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
don't provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
learning books and academics can. Well, I'll need you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
right there and ponder over it again.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


I've encountered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
teens who are rudderless in choosing their field of interest and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
was a rescue for them as the rabbit was for animals in the jungle who were prey to the lion in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
fable. The perception of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
being 'inefficient' or 'unnecessary'
are flawed
facades.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
can teach you more than books can.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the air by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, I don't mean video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
even though
it has the word game in it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the core and understand, Schools and colleges are
merely
meant for preparing kids to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and be decisive apart from academic learning whilst an actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
like basketball or chess can nourish them with their need for spontaneity they require in life. Being
academically
strong and not
physically
is being the mind without power which is quite an irony since power
is correlated
with the mind. This is an appeal to all the schools who overlook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as a waste of time and don't encompass any of these elements in their children to understand the need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. The best way can be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
compulsory in schools for children.

Thank You
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IELTS essay games and sports should be made compulsory in school

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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