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methods of punishment

methods of punishment bYOAl
The passage and the professor both express ideas about different ways of disciplining children and their consequences. The professor states that the best method of discipline is management technique, which differs from the other two methods, as following. According to the passage, management technique includes a set of musts and must nots that are enforced via encouragement, explaining, and reasoning. The professor indicates that this helps the children to have highest possible self-steam, as it does not withdraw the parents’ affection toward children and does not frighten them as well. The power method can include physical punishments or other demonstrations of power, such as taking away a specific privilege from the children. This is the most popular method among the parents; however, destroys the self-steam of the kids disciplined this way. The professor highlights that some researchers believe that physical punishment should not be exercised in any age group of children. The power method causes harm and control the children's behaviors by fear rather than clearly logical reasons. Finally, the withdrawal technique leads to experiencing some periods of lack of love and approval as punishment. Referring to the professor, this also affects the kids' self-steam negatively. Its long-term result is children who have a very disciplined outside and a very insecure inside, that seek desperately for approval of the others.
The passage and the
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professor
both express
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of disciplining
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children
and their consequences. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
states that the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
of discipline is management technique, which differs from the other two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
, as following.

According to the passage, management technique includes a set of musts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Possible spelling mistake found.
nots
that
are enforced
via encouragement, explaining, and reasoning. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
indicates that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
possible self-steam, as it does not withdraw the parents’ affection toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and does not frighten them
as well
.

The power
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
can include physical punishments or other demonstrations of power, such as taking away a specific privilege from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This is the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
among the parents;
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
the self-steam of the kids disciplined this way. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
highlights that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researchers believe that physical punishment should not
be exercised
in any age group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The power
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
causes harm and control the children's behaviors by fear
rather
than
clearly
logical reasons.

Finally
, the withdrawal technique leads to experiencing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
periods of lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and approval as punishment. Referring to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
, this
also
affects the kids' self-steam
negatively
. Its long-term result is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disciplined outside and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
insecure inside, that seek
desperately
for approval of the others.
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IELTS essay methods of punishment

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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