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Own a business.

Own a business. 562Wp
The article presents few advantages that people have if they are opening and work for their own business and provides three reasons for support. However, the professor explains that managing your own business is not so easy as it is described in the article and refutes each of the author’s reasons. First, the reading passage claims that bureaucracy faced by the people in big corporations is a major factor which causes employee’s frustration. If one will manage his or her own business this bureaucracy will disappear. The professor refutes this point by saying that the owners of the small businesses have to fight bureaucracy too. He mentioned that when a person open a new business many bureaucratic steps such as the issuing of the business plan, obtaining the approval for the business from the authorities, getting a loan to finance the business have to be completed in order to get the business to run. Second, according to the article in a corporation the job security is not granted and the employees are in danger to be fired any time without notice. However, the professor contends that the job security is very low if you work for your own firm too because the person has to rely just on himself. If the owner of the business gets lazy or sick for few days nobody will take care of the job as is happening in the corporations. Hence, the job and the business might be in danger to fail any time. Third, the reading passage avers that the employee’s fringe benefits decreased over the years and the employees have to pay more and more for the retirement plan or for the health insurance. The professor opposes this point by saying that the owner of a small company will be exposed to this hassle too. He said that the owner will have to find his own healthcare provider for health insurance. In addition to this, the owner will have to take care of the retirement plan and moreover to pay entire amount of money from his pocket to cover these benefits.
The article presents few advantages that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have if they are opening and work for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and provides three reasons for support.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
that managing your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in the article and refutes each of the author’s reasons.

First
, the reading passage claims that bureaucracy faced by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
corporations is a major factor which causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee’s
frustration. If one will manage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
this bureaucracy will disappear. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
refutes this point by saying that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
fight bureaucracy too. He mentioned that when a person open a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
bureaucratic steps such as the issuing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
plan, obtaining the approval for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
from the authorities, getting a loan to finance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be completed
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to run.

Second, according to the article in a corporation the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security is not granted and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to
be fired
any time without notice.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
contends that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low if you work for your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
firm too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
rely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
on himself. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
lazy or sick for few
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
nobody will take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as is happening in the corporations.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
might be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to fail any time.

Third, the reading passage avers that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee’s
fringe benefits decreased over the years and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more and more for the retirement plan or for the health insurance. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
opposes this point by saying that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will
be exposed
to this hassle too. He said that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
healthcare provider for health insurance.
In addition
to this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of the retirement plan and
moreover
to pay entire amount of money from his pocket to cover these benefits.
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IELTS essay Own a business.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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