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media targeting celebrity

media targeting celebrity 1ko1G
These days, many celebrities are being targeted by the media, which is unfair on their part. In my opinion, they should be given some privacy in their lives. I will further discuss both views and elaborate it in the subsequent paragraph. To begin with, just to increase their channel TRPs, big media houses these days show anything to sensationalize the news. Even if that person has not said that, they will interpret the things as per their choices. For example, last week a famous actor Ranbeer Kapoor said, I am on cloud nine. Media started showing, is he getting married? Who is he getting married with? Hence, unnecessary building up things for increasing their channel news is not fair. On the other hand, Many channels should give these famous people their privacy and not just keep stalking these celebrities just like anything. For example, How are they celebrating their parties? Who is dating whom? I remember last month Salman khan was celebrating his birthday in his private resort and news channels started bombarding their channels with that news. To conclude in the end, I would say, all famous people have their personal lives and it is not justifiable to sneek peek into everything they are doing. Media should concentrate in airing better news and more relevant information, which can be help and enlighten the general public as a whole
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
celebrities are
being targeted
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, which is unfair on their part. In my opinion, they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
privacy in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I will
further
discuss both views and elaborate it in the subsequent paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
Possible spelling mistake found.
TRPs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
these days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
anything to sensationalize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. Even if that person has not said that, they will interpret the things as per their choices.
For example
, last week a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
actor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ranbeer
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kapoor
said, I am on cloud nine.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
showing, is he getting married? Who is he getting married with?
Hence
, unnecessary building up things for increasing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
should give these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
their privacy and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
stalking these celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like anything.

For example
, How are they celebrating their parties? Who is dating whom? I remember last month Salman khan was celebrating his birthday in his private resort and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
bombarding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
with that news.

To conclude
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I would say, all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and it is not justifiable to
Possible spelling mistake found.
sneek
peek into everything they are doing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
should concentrate in airing better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and more relevant information, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and enlighten the
Consider using "public".
general public
as a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
whole
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IELTS essay media targeting celebrity

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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